Because Handsets Should Reflect Your Brand Loyalty

Vans partnered with FunMobility to disseminate all kinds of "Off the Wall" crap for your phone. Most of it is free, because all of it is an elaborate ploy to get your cell phone number, zip code and gender.

Raaad.

Campaign Ads Get Ugly as Nov. 4 Draws Near

Following their Tuesday debate, both Obama and McCain's campaigns have released ads riffing off something the other person said. Well, that's not completely true. Both ads appear to revolve entirely around Obama, actually.

See McCain call Obama not presidential. See Obama accuse McCain of wanting to tax businesses for health care coverage.

The usual down-to-the-wire campaign crap, but I prefer how Obama's positioned himself as the calm guy who elucidates muddy slogans. McCain, as always, pulls the fear card.

Thirsty for more? See more McCain and Obama ads.

Ford Fiesta Aims to Be Millennial Age's Judy Blume

I don't know about you, but as a wee lass I yearned for the hip style advice that only Ford (the car company, not the modeling firm) could give me.

Responding to these dormant desires, Ford Fiesta is launching an e-zine called Neon Candy, "an uber-cool digital magazine set to feature the latest trends in music, style, movies and culture every young woman should know."

But will it teach me how to put on a menstrual belt?

The 'zine includes a web drama profiling the fictional Jen, a journalist desperate to ride the cutting edge of pop culture. Wait, isn't that the plot to Almost Famous -- and every essay ever written by Chuck Klosterman?

Neon Candy is UK-based and, confusingly, comes fast on the heels of Tango at the Tower, when Fiesta strained to associate itself with love.

Doritos Whores for Entries (Again), Dinosaurs Explain Facebook, Advertising's Trojan Horse, Shilling American Foreign Policy

- Doritos is holding another CGM contest for the Super Bowl. Ooh, but there's a twist: win $1 million if your spot becomes the FIRST EVAR! consumer-generated ad to take No. 1 in USA Today's Ad Meter. (Here's what won last year.) Entries welcome 'til November 16.

- Given that people and dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time,* it's totally probable dinosaurs caught the social media bug from its Homo sapien homies. Isn't Facebook, like, 200 million years old or something?

- Bill Gates in a condom ad! No, not really, but that penis makes a resonant impression.

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Gauge Your Stress Level as an Undercover Cop!

The UK's Hallmark Channel and agency Ralph are promoting series nine of Law & Order: SVU with an online stress test. (Not to be confused with any such test you might have taken on a subway.)

Find out what it's like to operate as an undercover cop. You'll have something like five seconds to memorize a criminal profile, then you have to watch clips -- on which you'll be tested -- while pushing Space Bar to the sound of a pulse.

We were groggy when we did it, which I guess is no excuse; we fared horribly and are utterly unqualified to bust rapists for a living. Well, there goes my back-up career.

This Campaign is So Gay

There once was a time when it was perfectly fine to use the word gay to describe something other than a person of the homosexual persuasion. In fact, my grandmother used to use the word all the time in a perfectly harmless manner to describe a joyous occasion. The use of the word gay in that manner, while not incorrect in terms of its definition, isn't all that culturally acceptable any longer. Just like titling the chapter of a Hardy Boys book "The Big Boner" (as in blunder or error) wouldn't go over so well in today's publishing world.

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Sean Connery Bonds With Louis Vuitton

If you've been wondering where the original James Bond, Sean Connery, has been hiding out, we can't answer that question for you but we can tell you he's come out of hiding to appear in an Annie Leibowitz-shot Louis Vuitton ad campaign. Yes, the 78 year old hottie (come on, he's still hot, right?), can be seen in the ad lounging on a beach and enjoying life.

It's the new math. 40 is the new 30. 50 is the new 40. 60 is the new 50. And 78 is the new...60...which makes James Bond 30, right? After all, the dude hasn't aged since 1962.

You Don't Sleep Around But She Does

Mirrors don't lie. That's the tool this Erwin-Penland-created commercial for Clemson University takes. Noting most people don't undress in public, don't humiliate their friends, don't vandalize the campus and don't sleep around, the commercial makes it clear you shouldn't either.

"Our goal with this campaign is to reach people - students and non-students - and make them think about their own behavior," said Vice President for Student Affairs Gail DiSabatino. "There is such a bombardment of advertising that promotes alcohol and sports. This is one attempt to combat those promotions."

It won't be an easy job but the message will be spread across posters, newspaper, radio and video.

Joe Namath (Or Not) Hypes New Jets Coaches Club

Back in the day, there was a football player named Joe Namath. Perhaps you've heard of him? No? Well, he was the man back when men were men and football was football. Anyway, he "stars" in a new commercial hyping the New York Jets Coaches Club and the new Jets stadium which is set to open in Fall 2010.

Watch closely. Looks like Namath got a new haircut.

Sharon Osbourne Says Don't Show Your Boobs While Vomiting

On the Vh1 website, Sharon Osbourne admonishes girls about drunk dialing, going commando, showing their boobs, vomiting and other less than polite behaviors as part of a mobile campaign leading up to the premiere of the VH1 reality show, Charm School. Created by Bradley and Montgomery, the "manner musts" are raunchy, tongue-in-cheek clips that can be sent to friends from the VH1 website as either audio or video clips.