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Starbucks Goes on Sabbatical, Dunkin' Steals the Slack Starbucks is staging a sales sabbatical for several hours tomorrow. At Chairman Schultz' behest, all company-owned stores are shutting down so baristas can go back to basics. "Starbucks partners will have an opportunity to connect and deepen their passion for coffee with the ultimate goal of transforming the customer experience," Schultz said in a staff memo. Wasn't This a Side Plot in 'Mean Girls'? The primaries for Ohio and Texas are fast approaching. Tensions are high between Hillary and Obama. Unless Hillary scores these last two states, she's pretty much ether. So after Hillary went all Exorcist on Obama about some slanted flyers his campaign disseminated -- pretty normal fare in a political death match -- we were like, Okay, the girl has snapped. It's over. Then this picture of Obama wearing Somali garb surfaces. And instead of going "Uh, yeah, Obama's dad was African -- is that a problem?", camp Obama goes apeshit and accuses camp Hillary of smearing their Fearless Leader in the last dregs of this doomed pissing contest. Jack Makes A Sandwich, Simmons Tape A Stunt - Freakishly weird Jack in the Box has a new website, Make Jack a Sandwich, which AdFreak's David Kiefaber says, "revels in the kind of exaggerated 1970s sleaze I've only seen a thousand times before." - Copyranter tells us that Gene Simmons tape was just a publicity stunt. Hmm. We never saw that coming. - Make the Logo Bigger tells us this MasterCard should have run during the 80th Academy Awards as opposed to the dreck that did. - It's One Show Week!! Yes. From May 5-9, The One Club will host its One Show, One Show Interactive and One Show Design events Neither Sexy Nor Smart ...is a Renault Scenic with a built-in PSP. Our eyes hurt and we probably have brain damage. See more reasons why here and here. Oh, and here's some compulsive steering behaviour. (Please tell us the unit's in the back seat; why's it being marketed to drivers?) The agency: Publicis, Rome. Kung Fu Banana Takes Up Plight of Exploited Workers Based on the premise that people are more likely to do good deeds after watching a banana cry, UK-based ActionAid gives us the WhoPays? Campaign. Register for the loyalty card, which could help good producers fight exploitation, after which you can "digitally dress yourself up as something tasty." Which is all we wanted, really. HSBC Never Sent Us Singing Kittens. To drive us into the arms of BankWest (Australia), some kittens sang us a song. It was weird and they were scary (like furry robot gremlins), but they spelled our names and everything. The campaign was put together by Host and Glue Society. Its purpose is to associate banking with happiness. (Guess that depends on why you're at the bank, though.) Condom Maker Portrays Women As Sex Receptacles OK, so.....are we to believe that Beate Uhse condoms are so good (or is it bad?) they can help a guy last so long he'd get bored of all that intense thrusting and just start playing games of Sudoku or connect-the-dots on the stomach or back of his sex receptacle? And yea, if all the guy is doing is pounding into the girl while playing games on her then, yes, she is being treated as a sex receptacle. So are we also to believe Beate Uhse thinks that's all women are good for? WTF? Obama Girl Gets Sweaty For Certain Dri Deodorant WTF? It seems playing Obama Girl isn't the only thing the lovely Amber Lee Ettinger does. Although it's clear she's a much better Obama Girl than a deodorant spokesmodel. Damn, that was the most unsexy spots we've ever see, Amber Lee, please, stick to Obama Girl. Oh wait, you mean Certain Dri pays you? Alright, we suppose that's OK then. Axe-Fueled Lust Causes World to Quake Figuratively, woman most certainly do have this effect on men. Making us believe New Axe Dry Pulse will literally have such an effect causing the world around the man and the world to quake from the heat of shared lust is another thing entirely. DDB Creative Director Paul Tilley Dead at 40 Pointless drama aside, Paul Tilley is dead. Paul was the creative director at DDB in Chicago and on Friday he decided to jump out of a Fairmont Hotel window at 6:25 PM, plunging to his death. His death hasn't yet been ruled a suicide and is still under investigation according to the Chicago police. Whether or not Tilley was a nice man, a bad man, a good boss, a bad boss, a jerk or the most wonderful man in the world, his death is a tragic loss of human life. A loss to DDB. A loss to his family. 
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