Gwyneth Paltrow Gets $7 Million to Drink

Like the rest of the Hollywood actors who head to Japan and shoot commercials hoping no one in the the U.S. will ever see them, Gwyneth Paltrow, who doesn't drink, has headed to Australia to swill vermouth for Martini & Rossi. Gwyneth will appear in two television ads and has banned their appearance anywhere else in the world. �sk W�ppling of Adland wonders if Gwyneth has heard of the Internet.

KFC President Bullshits His Way Through Interview

Still clinging to the notion that fried chicken is good for you, KFC President Gregg Dedrick gives PR shoveled, canned answers in this USA Today interview. Responding to a question about the recent KFC commercial claiming fried chicken is healthy by comparing it to Burger King's Whopper, Dedrick sticks by the health claims.

Q: When you claimed in TV spots that fried chicken could be part of a healthy diet, consumer groups and the FTC came after you. And some consumers laughed. If you had it to do over again, would you air the ads?

A: The ads communicated facts that were very relevant to our consumers. It was surprising news. Customers reacted favorably. Our sales were up 1% (for the month of November.) It elicited a number of inquiries from our customer hotline.

And it validated what people had been doing already - the idea of peeling the skin back from the chicken breast. The idea that people can eat fried chicken and have less fat than a Whopper was relevant to our customers.

Q: But weren't you playing it fast and loose with the commercials? A tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the ad said that KFC chicken is not a low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol food. You can't have it both ways.

A: We don't believe we were. We stated the facts as they exist. Our message was not intended to say that this was a health food - but that it's better for you than you think. The campaign was a set of commercials that run three to four weeks. It went off as planned.

Telling the truth would have made for a better interview.

Girl Scouts Go Hip (Or Hope To) With New Ad Campaign

With poster taglines like, "We want an adviser who knows 50 Cent isn't two quarters" and "Be more popular with teens than you ever were in high school," the San Francisco Girls Scouts hope to transform the image of girl scouting from hopelessly hokey to happenin' hip and attract women 18-29 to become troop leaders.

The campaign also hopes to make Girls Scouts cool for girls over 10, the age at which most girls drop out of scouts for fear of being labeled something less than cool.

American Culture Returns to Normal Flash Mob Fragmentation

This Time Magazine article likens the current fickle and flighty American culture to the recent meme of Flash Mobs, the sudden gathering of a crowd to perform some random act only to then suddenly disperse. Americans gather together only briefly now, as they always did pre-mass media. Normally, Americans live in their own very different worlds and came together as a mass culture only because no other option was available. Those options to return to a "tribe-like" life are now available in full force. The death of mass culture is a result of media fragmentation.

Media fragmentation has finally caught up with the cultural fragmentation that has always been the fabric of America. All Americans came from varied backgrounds, were drawn together for a brief moment by mass media, only to return the original stasis of mass differentiation. Mass culture was an oddity. Fragmentation is the norm.

Adland Gives Eulogy to the Pillsbury Dough Boy

Jane Goldman, otherwise know and the Caffeine Goddes on Adland writes a humorous eulogy for the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Califfornia Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but in later life was filled with turnovers.

ABC Attempts to Duplicate 'Full House' Success

With Mary-Kate and Ashley too old and too hot to be cute little television girl-stars, ABC is out searching for twin girls hoping it can recapture the long running success of the former Olsen Twin's "Full House."

The network has announced a casting call for girls who are "adorable, outgoing and fun-loving twin girls to play the roles of Hallie and Annie in the Parent Trap television series." Tollin/Robbins is producing the show and wants girls between the ages of 11 and 15 for the call.

Overhead Bin Advertising Joins Airline Tray Table Advertising

The addition of tray table advertising on America West reported here earlier is now to be joined by overhead bin advertising. So now when you are wrestling your way to your seat and trying to stuff your oversized bag into the overhead bin, you will be presented with a "binboard." One wonders what sort of brand association will be achieved with this form of advertising due to the questionable mood travelers are in at that particular moment of travel. Perhaps, weeks after your "binboard" exposure, when anger and frustration strikes as you get fingered while driving somewhere, you will remember that advertised brand with "fondness."

Advent Advertising is the company behind this move and has plans to roll the service out over the next several months.

Fly Guy Finds His Monkey

Here's an amusing Holiday greeting in which you can control how "fly guy" flies. The flight ends with the guy finding nirvana in the form on a dancing monkey and a booty shaking hula girl.

Tony Pierce Says Time Magazine Got the Wrong Person of the Year

Saying "fuck you" to Time Magazine, blogger Tony Pierce disagrees with the magazine's choice of the American soldier as person of the year. While he respects the American soldier, he also wonders what is was they did that was so deserving of a Time cover writing, "they did their fucking jobs. just like school teachers and firemen and cops and bloggers."

Tony claims terrorist Osama Bin Laden should have been named Person of the Year stating:

the terrorists have won. and you told us he was terrorist number one, and the president told us, and the vice president told us, as did colin and donald and candy and everyone.

and im sorry if i look at the scoreboard and on one side i see the fucking terror alert at nearly the top of the scale, airports not allowing me to kiss a cheerleader goodbye at the gate any more, and her not allowed to pack a fucking nail file in her coach bag.

and on the other side i don't see osama getting found for the second full year in a row, but i do see george bush's approval rating creeping up only six points after he "got" saddam.

osama is the phantom menace and he is the golden ticket and whoever finds him wins and im sorry aol time warner but your person of the year did not find the real person of the year and you know it and they know it and its fucked up but that's what time it really is.

While he does have a point, I'm not sure I completely agree with Tony. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that my neighbor's son is over there in the Marines and has been there off and on since 9/11. While he may have "just been doing his job," watching the faces of his parents, always wondering where and how he is, made me wonder if there wasn't just a little something special about what he was doing in Iraq and Afghanistan. And perhaps we might want to show a little appreciation of that effort.

Ad Age Super Top Ten: Ads, Marketers, Product Launches

This week's Ad Age sums up the year with several top ten lists including Ten Most Watched Videos (Devo Swiffer number one), Ten Top Marketers (A.G. Lafley President-CEO, Procter & Gamble number one), Ten Non-Traditional Ad Campaigns (Nike's Roy Jones documentary number one), Ten Ads America Won't See (Nativity birth ad number one), Ten Most Successful Product Launches (Apple's iPod growth and iTunes launch number one) and the Ten Most Read Stories (Chevy Chases Turkish Cola Ads number one).