'Dude, We Made That Thinkpad Fly!'

Dude! Dude! Dude! Thinkpad! Dude! Bees! Dude! Thinkpad! Fly! It's moving! Dude! It's lifting! Dude! Whoa! Dude! Oh My God! Dude! Dude! Dude! Thinkpad! Dude! Fly! Bees! Dude! Dude! Dude!

Oh please.

More Mad Men Mockery Misfires

Wanna watch the world's worst Mad Men promo/spoof? Well, here it is courtesy of Landline TV. We have no idea what they're trying to accomplish with this :60 riff on the AMC series but one thing's clear. It's bad. Really bad.

Can we just leave Mad Men alone and stop obsessing over it. Perhaps enjoy it rather than continuously mock it as if we, the ad industry, are the only people who enjoy the show?

Finally, an Incontinence Underpanty to Match My F-Me Pumps.

We dug the gimmick this time. And this time. And this time and this time. But this is one saunter-through-time too many.* And we're not standing for it!

Especially for a product like sexier incontinence underpants.

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Levi's Panders to Frat Heads with American Mockumentaries

Taking a break from its role as ad land's mouthpiece for the American adolescent's collective wet dream, Levi's partnered with Break to bring forth "Stories of a New America."

This is supposed to be the more relatable version of its frontiersy-sounding "Go forth" campaign. Hit a point on a rust-coloured US map to watch, oddly enough, mockumentaries of American pastimes.

There's currently only one pinpoint, a video for the "Manhattan Beach Six Man Volleyball Tournament." Composed of co-ed teams playing volleyball in costume, the California (?) based pseudo-event is supported by inspired quotes like "this is the one setting where people can get away with wearing as least as possible."

And of course you have guys dressed like Smurfs. Just think of the whole thing as a less interesting version of ING's Bay to Breakers, populated with characters from The Hills.

The Perfect Date: A Moonlit Evening...And A Giant McDonald's Logo

There's advertising on rockets so why not on the moon? If Moon Publicity has its way, it'll use an army of small robots to create logos on the dusty surface of the moon which, presumably, will be visible from earth.

Now, instead of guys going all out to impress dates by professing their love with sky writing or blimp messaging, they can pay millions to have their message of love carved on the surface of the moon. Though we're thinking the lead time might result in certain professions of love becoming a bit out of date.

OK so the whole professing one's love to another on the moon is stupid but so is defacing the moon's surface with logos that will ruin its natural beauty. Did we say stupid? Yea, stupid.

Boobs Kushed, Microsoft Scratches, BK Gets BJ

- Boobs too big? Trouble sleeping while their spilling all over the place? Kush has the answer to that weighty issue.

- Want to watch the world's worst commercial? Here it is.

- ScratchIT. Go ahead. Scratch it. Really. Microsoft wants you to scratch it. S go on. Give it a scratch.

- Creative production company Stardust Studios is out with a new website. Founder/CD Jake Banks said, "Compared with our previous version, this site focuses more on movement and functionality, and aims to give visitors a unique visual experience that will heighten the creativity in each spot we present."

- Black Eyes Peas promote their new album...only at Target. Sell out? Just the way of things?

- BK's Super Seven Incher gets a blow job.

Dear Cannes Lions Organizers: Don't be Douchebags

OK, so last week we kinda trashed the journalistic efforts others have planned for Cannes this week tossing them off as overly trendy or lazy. Of course, it was in jest and of course you knew that.

But now it's time for us to stand behind one of our fellow media outlets, Adland, which, in a very non-lazy/non-trendy fashion, had planned to offer video commentary of the week for its readers. Adland's Ask Wappling had asked a friend and former copywriter to be her cameraman and that's where the douchebaggery started.

Because her chosen cameraman was a former copywriter, the organizers of Cannes seem to think he's trying to sneak in for a free ride as a copywriter and not as a cameraman for Ask. That's just retar...oh wait, we can't use that word, right? Anyway, that's just idiotic.

If anyone here has any clout with the organizer's, can you please deliver them a swift slap upside the head and tell them to stop being such idiots? Thank you very much.

Draftfcb Can't Manage Its Clients, Gets Abused

Seriously? We thought we'd never have to say this again. Really, we did. After Agency.com's Subway video debacle, we hoped an important lesson was learned by ad agencies in the business. Apparently not so we'll say it again:

"Attention ad agencies. Don't DON'T. DO NOT DO THIS. Do not create a video where you publicly masturbate, backslap and attempt to hipify yourself with viral goodness in front of the industry all in the name of cool factor and winning new business."

And do not ever compare your work (before it's even had a chance) to classics by telling us "It's right up there (in my opinion) with 'Truth in Advertising' and 'When I grow up I want to be in advertising.' Doing so just sets you up for failure.

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...But Are You Sure This Isn't Hooters?

"Hi, honey, welcome to Coca-Cola Zero Headquarters."

We give you possible.cokezero.com, Coke Zero's sad attempt to compete with Pepsi Max -- "The diet drink for men!" -- for the waist-watching XY vote.

Gonna side with @BranislavPeric on this one: the execution is clean, with hardly any laggage and a nice flow from video intro to engagement tools; but there's nothing remotely Coca-Cola about it. It's a cheap silicon-enhanced take on a brand that's supposed to feel perpetually familiar, family-friendly, feel-good and G-rated for the most part.

Girl-on-girl intro-to-porn vibe and ditzy platitudes like "honey" aside, the tackiest part of the presentation is the loading period preceding the interactive environment. After you select an activity at digital Headquarters, you get the pleasure of watching the pelvises of both hostesses sway slowly in the background.

Thank North Kingdom when you're done rubbing the grease off your monitor.

Reason #1 Why It's Not Okay to Slaughter a Classic to Justify an Ice Cream Pun.

30Rock's Jane Krakowski appears in this tacky ravaging of Gone with the Wind for Breyer's ice cream.

And while we can appreciate the seamless integration of a contemporary (if hardly worthy) Scarlett O'Hara, it disgusts us to no end when she puts on the Southern simper and weds her crappy girls-night-out-fantasy dialogue to Rhett's timeless hot/cold leading man ditties.

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