Dear HSBC: Cinematic Scope Doesn't Compensate for Bad Service

This is HSBC's "Lumberjack" by JWT/London/NYC and production company Gorgeous. At first watch it's like Swiss Family Robinson meets Lord of the Flies, except everybody's grown up and cops ruin all the fun.

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Bill Gates Divulges Microsoft's 'Moist, Chewy' Future ... to Seinfeld?

In the first ad released by Crispin Porter+Bogusky for Microsoft, Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld meet serendipitously at Shoe Circus, a Payless ShoeSource-type store. Seinfeld helps him pick out shoes. Made of pleather. Significant glances are exchanged, immigrants gawk, and churros are shared.

Thus ingratiated with one of the world's richest (and thriftiest?) men, Seinfeld poses the question we'd all ask, given the chance (and a serious case of munchies): "Are they ever gonna come up with something that'll make our computers moist and chewy like cake so we can eat 'em while we're working?"

Gates gives Seinfeld a subtle but sassy little ass-shake to denote "yes."

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Entourage Buses Sport Chrome on the Wheels

To promote the Sunday premier of HBO's Entourage, a series that enlivens the imaginations of freeloaders everywhere, Creature pimped out public transport.

Buses in NYC were wrapped with Entourage creative and outfitted with ostentatious chrome rims featuring the series logo. Way to bring LA to Manhattan!

Attesting to the show's success at engaging its demographic, one of the rims has already been stolen. The others will be auctioned off after the promotion.

Self-Conscious Web Series Fails to Spark Interest for 'Most Interesting Man'

"What does it mean to be interesting? That's an interesting question." It's also one of the better lines from "Behind Interesting," a six-part web series by Dos Equis and Break, which is letting Dos Equis ride its leaderboards like a carnival pony.

"Behind Interesting" expands on Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man in the World campaign. Problem is, all that over-practiced pompousness is just too earnest to be ironic.

German Doc Pitches Virgin OnD to Rack-Challenged Spice Girl

Aptly called "Melony B." Watch 'til the end -- there's a candy surprise.

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Discover Isn't Fooling Anyone by Helping Them 'Spend Smarter'

Sort of like a politician making rosy promises but forgetting to spell out the details, this new Martin Agency-created commercial for Discover Card which acknowledges the fact we get carried away with all the cool stuff in this world and how that can stress us out because of the resulting debt, promises to help people "spend smarter" versus spend more.

It's all very feel good with images of people having a great time with their families and friends but, like many political speeches, one is left with a feeling of emptiness and curiosity after the high has subsided. OK, Discover, just how exactly does a company that exists solely because people spend money avoid being accused of smoke and mirrors-fueled shenanigans by telling people to spend less? Huh? Huh? Do tell.

Meetup Says 'Unplug Your Friends'

For those of us who live our lives online with a collection of Twitter, Facebook, Pownce, Flickr, Second Life and Linked In accounts, this new Unplug Your Friends effort from Meetup says we need to overcome out addition to the screen and rejoin the real world. A commercial in which a closeted geek discovers there's a world beyond his collection of screens and online friends supports the effort.

It's trippy and surreal but it makes a powerful point. There's a world out there that isn't digital and it can be a very friendly place. The creative comes from freelance CD team of Julie Lamb and Phil Gable. Curious Pictures in New York produced the work which was directed by former agency creative-turned animation director Rohitash Rao.

iPhone Platformed, Dell Trashed, Blowjobs Kiboshed, Guns Wanted

- Want to amuse yourself for a few minutes with a stupid wrestling game? Head over to Anger Angle and beat the crap out of TNA wrestler Kurt Angle.

- Platform-A just launched an ad optimization system for the iPhone which "detects and delivers optimized ads on iPhones browsing the Web."

- George Parker lambastes the "first" Dell ad from Enfatico, writing, "A standard boiler-plate shot of a hard nosed bitch standing in cubicle hell with her Dell laptop clasped to her ample breast demanding protection for her 'data!'"

- Hints of blowjobs don't go over well with the MPAA which didn't take kindly to the poster for the Kevin Smith film Zack and Miri Make A Porno.

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Olympic Medalist Nastia Liukin Scores Spokesmodel Bonanza

What's an Olympics win without a few marketing deals following the win? Olympic gymnastics gold medalist Nastia Liukin won't know because she's already gearing up for a laundry list of spokesperson gigs. She'll front Cover Girl ads, launch a line of jeans with Vanilla Star, appear on the Wheaties box and appear on Gossip Girl. Oh and she already has a deal with tween website Beaconstreetgorls.com.

Liukin has a positive outlook, saying, "Winning the Olympics can change your life, and nothing can prepare you for that. You can go with the flow and enjoy the ride." A native of Plano Texas, Liukin was born in Moscow and moved to America with her parents, who competed in the Olympics for the former Soviet Union, when she was two and a half.

More marketing deals are likely to follow and she'll be hanging with Maria Sharapova during fashion week in New York at Peter Som's show.

Campaigns Need Long Legs, Not Annual Amputations

Writing on AdPulp and in his TalentZoo column, Dan Goldeier makes, correctly, the argument most campaigns are no longer given the time they need to build momentum and to enter the psyche of the consumer long enough to mean anything. He asks the question, "are ad campaigns given enough time to work these days?"

The answer is a resounding no and that, shortsightedly, been the case for a very long time. No one wants to, or is afraid to, invest the long periods of time it takes for a campaign to truly build. Everyone in marketing is too fickle and they are more concerned with advancing their own careers than advancing the success of the brands on which they work.

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