Microsoft Promises to Stop Being So Damn Mean

The breakdown of its commitment:

o Open APIs (a la Google) for Microsoft Office
o 30,000 shared pages of documentation for Windows client and server protocols
o Resisting the temptation to sue the crap out of open source devs

We'll see how long that lasts. What's the turnaround time for a bully in rehab?

Tom Ford Squeezes Nuts. Accomplishes Nothing

Copyranter loves (hates) Tom Ford ads. We do too. Sort of like the idiocy of Dolce and Gabanna ads, Tom Ford insist on foisting oddly sexual (but not really) imagery upon us in an effort to get us to somehow believe using his products will make our lives better. If getting our nuts violently grabbed by a naked woman with an expression that could kill is his idea of persuasion, it's doing a great job making us run in an entirely opposite direction.

Che Magazine Continues to Celebrate Fact Men Lust After Women

Without fear of American political correctness or the nation's apparent refusal to accept men are, in fact, sexually attracted to women, we are thankful to have Che Magazine's continuing campaign which gleefully and without apology offers up women as objects of desire to increase circulation. Oh there's a joke in there somewhere but we're gonna leave that to you.

Created by Antwerp's Duval Guillaume, the ad envisions the ideal desk calendar for the man trudging, wearily, through his day when he'd rather be tossing everything off his desk and throwing that hottie down on it for some intense mid-afternoon tension relief. Come on, you know it's true. Just admit it.

See the ad in its full sized glory here.

Returning Stork Brings Hope to Grayed-Out Life

This Monster.com Stork commercial is so good both Angela and I had to write about it. Predictably, Bob Garfield didn't like it so much. At first, we were going to compare the commercial to that odd, Cannes-winning IKEA lamp spot back in 2003 but then we realized, hey, this Stork spot is actually good. Really good. Like a slap to the face, it makes one realize the pit of a life into which one may have fallen and how one needs to kick oneself in the ass to make a better life. With a new job from Monster.com, of course.

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Vibrator Ads Vibrate. Witty. Not Really

Oh for the love of vibrator ads! Apparently, all ideas have been used up when it comes to the category to the only thing that's left is to highlight a vibrator's product benefit by...oh...vibrating the ad. While certainly a different concept, the women in the ads look about as excited as your grandmother sitting on the toilet squeezing one out.

OK, at least one girl is grinning and...OMG...her bra strap is revealed! See the full on vibrating glory here, here and here.

Because a Clinton Doesn't Go Down without a Fight!

To win the youth vote Obama stole like a thief in the night, Hillary further strains our suspension of disbelief with "the playlist for YOUR future."

It's a UGC support site! (We like how when you mouse over the videos, the bottom right-hand corner says "Posted by Americans!")

Does Hillary speak for you?

Hast Thou Forsaken the Hopes and Dreams of Thy Patron Stork?

Monster.com's "Your Call is Calling" campaign has been a buzzkill since launch, particularly against CareerBuilder's darkly funny "Start Building."

But "The Stork" -- a :60 spot by BBDO, NY for Monster -- begets a bit of greatness.

You know that "What hath God wrought!" look your parents give you when you talk about what you do for a living? Apparently storks do it really well. Two hours later, we're still wallowing in quiet shame.

Jokes aside, the ad left us with a sense that there's magic and meaning in what a person chooses to do with his life. It's melancholy, well-timed and worth the watch.

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Hayden's Hottness Hawks Candies's Cuteness

Kelly Clarkson did it. Jenny McCarthy did it. Ashlee Simpson did it. Hilary Duff did it. Fergie did it. As have many others. Now it's Hayden Panettiere's turn. So after a few uptight GQ readers got angry after the magazine dolled up sweet little Hayden in frilly pink do-me wear and pimped her out as the latest object of desire, Candie's has dolled her up in pink frilly Candie-wear for its new Kohl's ad campaign. Sweet.

Hayden seems to like the gig, saying, "I am excited to be working with Candie's. Their campaigns are fun and playful and always feature the hottest stars. I am honored to be the new Candie's 'girl' and I look forward to working with them on lots of exciting projects."

Pepsi, Diet Pepsi Max Super Bowls Ads Get Nut Cracking Mashup

Oh God. It's that damn song again. About a month after the Super Bowl, we'd almost rid it from head bobbing around inside your head. Anyway, because some think two Super Bowl spots are better than one, we have this mashup up of Justin Timberlake's Pepsi commercial and the What is Love Diet Pepsi Max commercial. It's been up since February 7 but it's only been seen by 3,300 people. I'm sure we can increase that a bit.

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Our Diversity Recruiting Program Travels to Chicago

Continuing our quest to support diversity in advertising and our association with the Business Development Institute's efforts in this area, we'd like to tell you about the next upcoming conference. There are four events throughout the year that aim to discuss the topic of diversity in advertising as well as to offer an opportunity for those interested in a career in advertising to speak with those who have achieved successful careers in the industry.

The next event in the series, the Chicago Advertising and Marketing Experienced Hire Diversity Recruiting Program, will be held March 10-14 at the Chicago Regent Business Centers. The event will bring together job seekers and recruiting organizations.

If you're interested in attending the event as a job seeker or are a company interested in sponsoring or recruiting at the event, complete details are available on the event website.