Window Blinds Save Suburban Cocktail Party

Who said suburban cocktail parties had to be boring? Or kids always jump on their parents' beds in the morning? Or your candlelit bath isn't as relaxing as it could be. Not Levelor who with four new spots created by Woodbine says their shades can make any situation simply by closing or raising their blinds. Check out one of the spots here.

AdMob to Mob iPhones Owners With Ads

So you've got your new iPhone and you think it's really, really cool. You can't stop showing it to all your friends. You even love that 300 page bill that came in a box. It's just the coolest thing ever, right? Well, just wait until AdMob finds you.

Mobile phone ad network AdMob just launched a new iPhone-specific ad unit that will help advertisers and content publisher reach iPhone fanatics. Hopefully, a quick flick will lessen the length or their annoyance.

OK, so maybe the ads aren't that annoying but does Starbucks really need to promote it's locations? Just walk a block. One's bound to be right around the corner.

You Mean Advertisers Are Supposed to Be Living Balanced Lifestyles?

Okay. Put away the martini, clear all the white dust off your desk and stop flirting with the intern. Apparently, that's not what a well-balanced ad exec is all about.

This September 20th the Ad Club will be presenting its Second Annual Perfect Balance Awards, which were launched to "recognize and celebrate companies who have successfully instituted and fostered an innovative employee health and wellness program."

Well, even if our margin of usefulness in this industry really only lasts until about 36 (40 if you're pushing it), maybe there remains a deeper reason to stay healthy and live on.

Apply for the honors here. Make sure you're wearing a fresh glow. Champions of wellness are, like, big on that.

Heineken Takes Svedka Vodka Robots to Dance Floor

For pure amusement it seems, Heineken has released DraughtKeg, a site on which you can upload your face to a futuristic robot who will then appear on the dance floor grooving to pseudo-futuristic dance music. It's all very retro...in a futuristic sort of way. And it's to promote their new, uber-cool keg that's, apparently, really, really better than your standard keg.

Let's imagine ourselves sitting in on the Publicis Modem Berlin Cameron (sorry, our PR rep mis-spoke. The campaign was created by Berlin Cameron. Modem handled online work and subcontracted out the creation of this website to Brothers by Choice) concepting session for this piece of work.

AE: "So you all saw the thing. It is pretty advanced for just a keg of beer, right?
AD: "Futuristic, even."
COPY: "The thing looks like some sort of mini-robot."
AD: "I got it! Robots. Beer. The future. A party. A robot dance party!"
AE: "Um, what about Svedka's robots?"
COPY: "Who gives a shit. Ours will be way better because...ooo...I got it...we'll let people upload their heads to the robots! All that social media shit, you know."
AE: "Uh, Trailer Crashers did that."
AD: "Dude. It's ALL been done before. It's not like you expected an original idea, right?"
AE: "Uh, I guess. Hey, just make it look cool OK? Like the music and shit. And make sure you show the fucking product!"
COPY: "Dude, we aren't idiots."
AE: "OK. I know. You rock. I need it next Thursday."
AE/AD/Copy: Three way fist-bump

Old Ad Wanker Defends Critique of DraftFCB...And Everything Else

AdScam's George Parker defends the apparent shit storm he seemingly caused following his leak of a DraftFCB internal memo which made a big deal about a recent SkyTeam website project job win. He also defends why it's perfectly fine to continuously pick on DraftFCB. And JWT. And O&M. And Julie and Sean. And CP+B. And every other agency in this business. And he wallows in the supposedly not-so-nice layoff and compensation practices of DraftFCB. Damn, it's like Perez Hilton for the ad industry.

If you're still asking, "Who the hell is George Parker," you really need to tune in to this business a bit more. Besides, he's fun to read. Hmm. Maybe he should write for Adrants.

Yeah, Another Candystand Game. Who Works on Thursdays Anyway?

Here's a distraction that's sure to derail your workday. In the interest of going simpler, Candystand gives us Jetboost, a game where all you have to do is make the little jetpack-wearing man jump as high as he can.

Each level lasts just a few seconds, which strangely makes you want to do a bunch. Oh, the marketing magic of bite-size.

Addictive. But then again, shiny objects usually are when you have something more important to do.

Keep the volume down if you're in your cubby hole -- er, cubicle. To note, we've long since stopped noticing what candy is advertised - but, foreseeing this, Candystand since began forcing users to sit through a short ad while the game loads. Those clever candy peddling rogues.

America's Freedom Begets Idiocy in Advertising

AdPulp gives us good reason why America is such a great country. Or not. And why all this wonderful freedom we have doesn't always stop us from acting like complete idiots. Oh but wait, this is a car dealer commercial. Now it all makes sense.

Meth Will Indeed Give You the Cleanest House on the Street

In a way, it's the job of a PSA to cut through all the glitzy ad noise and deliver a more crucial message - one that protects families from abuse, unprotected sex or drugs, for example.

But on their noble mission to maintain the status quo, sometimes an overzealous PSA can just scare the shit out of some of us, and completely confuse everyone else.

This musical meth ad first appeared over 10 years ago (we're guessing). We were terrified of it as kids. (Consider the nightmarish effects Requiem for a Dream might have had on impressionable teenagers, then compress it into a :30 spot.)

The ad came up in conversation yesterday with our landlord, who was in the middle of a cleaning spree. He remembered the ad immediately - then, perplexed, said, "It was about meth? You mean the drug?"

"Uh, yeah," we answered, to which he exclaimed, "Oh my god! All this time I thought it was about a cleaning agent."

Long pause.

He somberly added, "The commercial didn't really make me want to buy it, though."

Hanes: Need a Little (Agency) Help Over There?

Selling underwear is usually a no-brainer for some companies. You make it sexy, you make it provocative, you dress it all up and get some pretty people to trounce around in it, or - worst comes to worst - you find really fruity mascots, like Fruit of the Loom.

We can't think of a major underwear brand that fails to be interesting in the same way that Hanes does.

And this isn't a recent thing. They've always kind of sucked.

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Joost: Fast Adopting All the Crap It Left Behind

It's been a few months since we first landed the chance to try out Joost, and by now we're in a fairly decent position to review the offering that either puts television to bed, or marries television to its longtime nemesis, the computer.

Cool things about Joost:

* The occasional brand-spankin'-new music video
* The occasional good show
* Throwback television (remember Ren and Stimpy? Hell yes)

Now onto the meaty stuff.

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