Converse And Black Sabbath Hook Up

While we don't know whether to be loathe or hipster-feeling to admit we've actually seen Black Sabbath in concert, we also can't decide whether wearing these new Black Sabbath-style Chuck Taylors from Converse would cause friends to loathe us or place us on the pedestal of hipsterati-hood. You're gonna have to tell us whether or not these Dr. Romanelli-designed kicks are worthy of the foot. Apparently, Black Sabbath is having a resurrection.

OJ Gets Bored with Obsolescence, Reminds Us All Why He's Creepy

This November 27 and 29 Fox airs the OJ-sponsored special, OJ Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. We'll tune in for the same reason you'd stop in traffic to watch a grotesque accident or drug bust - how can you not?

In two hours OJ gets to let his imagination run wild with Judith Regan (who's in charge of his book deal) over how he would have done Nicole and Ron in if - that is, if - he actually committed the murders we all know and believe our smiling football hero didn't commit.

"This is [...] the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," says Mike Darnell, who's Fox's executive VP of alternative programming. Alternative. Yeah, that's a handy label.

Steve puts it most aptly: "Nothing like admitting guilt without admitting while admitting you're not admitting what you already did!" And if you can follow that sentence, maybe you should have been in court trying to piece Cochran out. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Triumph Boats Gets Burt Reynolds/Dukes of Hazard Treatment

AdJab points us to a Triumph boat commercial which simply had to be one of the funnest (is that a word) commercials to shoot. Kind of like an old Burt Reynolds Smokey and the Bandit movie, a guy considering purchasing a boat gets to take one of the boats on a test drive except the test drive is on land...behind a pick...without a trailer. Stereotypical Southern Yee Haw ensues. But no matter where you're from, you know you wish you were driving that pick up or watching this commercial get shot. To view the spot, visit the Triumph site and click on The Bubba Test.

Time Warner, Dewar's Force Ad Views On DVR

Apparently, Dewar's and Time Warner Cable are in cahoots and have made a currently running Dewar's ad unskipable during playback. Several Radar Online employees have reported their Time Warner CVRs simply refuse to fast forward through the ad. The unit will fast forward through anything else but not the Dewar's ad. Can anyone say "1984 by George Orwell?"

UPDATE: Despite it occurring over and over among many peole, it's just a technical glitch that has to do with fixed text on he screen for an extended length of time as in the Dewar's commercial.

New Dye Makes You a Blonde Where It Really Matters

Forget about getting your eyebrows to match - there are more important bushes to beat. Betty Beauty is a spankin' new do-it-yourself dye set for your betty. (Can we say for the record we think that term is lame?)

The use of "betty" was altered by Betty Beauty to signify, not a hot chick, but a hot chick's holy grail. And apparently men can be betties too because surveys reflect an unusually high number of men (and women between 60 and 85, for that matter) are tearing their products off the shelves.

So your new boyfriend - or for that matter, your grandma - might have a secret for you, and yes - it could be pink. Your world just got a little more fucked-up, didn't it? - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Stowe Gets Artsy with 'Find Your Perfect Line'

Who says ski resort ads should all feature generic slopers in big jackets sliding down a sweeping powdery slope?

Stowe gets a little creative, crafting mountains out of whimsical text that's something between a ski bunny's stream of thought and coutourier philosophy. A single splash of color illustrates the Stowe logo. We like. Yes, even if attempts to read the text hurts our necks. Check out more prints here and here. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Match Sites Say Love is Political

Because the House and the Senate weren't enough, Democrats want their own dating venue too. Democratic Match is for all the singles that have lost one too many potential mates by letting the dam break about their politics.

The site features a young couple giggling over their organic produce and it led us to wonder what a republican match site would look like. Oh wait, it looks like this.

Why do the republican couples look so bummed-out? Is the food, which seems to be a running prop, also organic? And what do they mean by "Sweethearts Not Bleeding Hearts"?! We're confused by these political love dynamics. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Deviants Get Their Own Wikipedia ... and It's Awesome

Forget about the hyper-anal editors at Wikipedia that are always taking down our clever little quips on supposedly "serious" topics like nachos or Marie Antoinette. The serious action happens at Uncyclopedia, where you can throw down your anecdotal knowledge about kitten huffing and the real goings-on behind PETA. Don't you love how this wiki thing enables us all to bask in collective wisdom about the shit that really matters? - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Wal-Mart Whacked, Dell Does SL, KFC Rebrands

- Wal-mart is getting attacked in a new campaign which decries the chain's wgae, benefit and employee practices. It's so muh fun being a big box retailer, isn't it?

- Dell has decided to blah, blah, blah Second Life in order to blah, blah, blah so that it can strengthen its blah, blah, blah and connect with its blah, blah, blah. Next.

- In the works since last Summer, the new Colonel Sanders has made his debut. This is about as boring as the whole visible from space thing incorrectly claimed to have been a first when Maxim already did it with Eva Longoria. Yawn.

- eBay has opened its online auction-based e-Media Exchange for a peek before its beat release in December. Sales reps are running in fear of losing their jobs because buyers won't just ignore them, they won't need them any more.

Xbox 360 Delivers Bowel Clenching Realism And A Box

While we're not going to make any connections between video game violence and real world violence, one does have to wonder what effects spending hours blowing up, shooting and mutilating video game opponents to a bloody pulp have on the human brain. Moral debates aside, two dudes and a Paris Hilton Mannequin mug for the camera in episodic videos that capture the life of the hardcore gamer strapped with inferior gaming equipment.

Be sure to not miss the obvious alternative pronunciation of "she makes me calm" in the second video or the obvious nod to another type of box in the series' name, "Two Men & A Box" Witty.