Ashley Simpson's Future Not Good According to Justin

Justin from That'sJustNotRight eloquently sums up the number two Simpson sister writing, "Ashlee Simpson. Big nose, big chin, can't sing, swears too much. But at least she's not as stupid as her sister."

I guess she won't be doing Pizza Hut commercials any time soon.

UPDATE: OK, so she is a little bit hot:

Agencies Need to Focus on the Idea

Oh, the idea. The idea. The idea. Are we sick of hearing about the idea? Yes, but according to Brighthouse CEO Joey Reiman, it's the only thing we have left to save the ad agency business. We've heard it before but Reiman, in a new book he's promoting of course, says agencies should stop giving ideas away and start holding out for the big money.

Reiman writes in Ad Age, "Advertising agencies have become an antiquated broker business, selling space to clients with creativity thrown in for free. The result is a marketing world that is ad rich and idea poor. Consumers don't want to be bombarded with ads -- they want to be inspired by ideas that will change their lives. Ads create transactions, ideas create transformations. Ads reflect our culture, ideas imagine our future."

All well and good but remember, this is the ad agency business, we don't like change. It's too much work.

Adrants Nooner: Mid-Day Quickies

Walking Tongues (covered here over a year ago, by the way) and crashing car parts on Ad Age's TV Spots Of the Week.

Chrysler (and others) won't pony up to NBC's $50 million asking price for The Apprentice sponsorship.

Republicans say ads for Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 amout to "electioneering" and violate campiagn finance laws.

(Yes, I stole this mini-summary idea from Gawker Media)

Life Caching An Important Trend For Marketers to Watch

Always ahead of the curve, TrendWatching has dubbed a new trend called Life Caching. Simply put, it's the collection of all things experiential (rather than material) enabled by the proliferation of digital products. From weblogs to Lifeblogs to digital cameras to everything-enabled cell phones, the recording and collection of experiences is fast becoming ubiquitous.

For marketers who provide an experience, figuring out to enable the consumer to make that experience last is the key to riding this trend. With consumer's entire body of experience cataloged, gaining permission from consumers to access this life-store will be the holy grail for marketers.

Maria Sharapova The Next Anna Kournikova

Anna Kournikova, the tennis player turned sex symbol, may soon have some competition in the cut-throat game of marketing endorsement. Rising tennis star Maria Sharapova, a beautiful 17 year old from Siberia, is ranked well above Kournikova in actual tennis wins but far below her in awareness factor. In fact, only 23 percent of sports fans know who she is.

While Sharapova is concentrating on winning tennis and laying low on the marketing front with small deals with Nike, Prince and NEC, marketers are mulling her potential as spokesmodel. Celebrity and athlete management company The Marketing Arm's Managing Director Jeff Crown said, "She has great marketing potential. She has the looks of Kournikova, but the game will keep her in the public eye." But Sharapova is opting to keep her eye on the ball playing tennis for the time being rather than baring her body for marketers. In a refreshing turn away from easy money, she has turned down several offers according to her business team even though interest has been high.

For additional analysis on upcoming female tennis players who are in line to steal the spotlight from Kournikova, see Apechild's article, "The New Babes of Tennis."

Las Vegas Promoted Terminator Style

Here's a series of radio ads from the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority using the Terminator theme to promote Las Vegas. The campaign, called "Instigator," is airing in Los Angeles, Phoenix, San Diego and San Francisco.

Adver-Wear: Another Excuse to Look At Breasts

For those who can't get enough television viewing or breast/chest ogling, there's now a solution to both. Brand Marketers has launched Adver-Wear, or T-Shirt TV, an ad medium that consists of a 6 1/2 pound t-shirt with an 11 inch flat screen TV embedded in it. Male and female models are wearing the shirts this weekend at theaters and malls to promote the new Fox movie, "I, Robot."

The concept was developed by 30 year old Adam Hollander of Brand Marketers who said, "People of my generation and younger are so used to moving images on TV that if it's not a moving image, it doesn't move them." Now if he could just invent an Adver-Wear bikini or a form fitting version of the t-shirt, we'd all have much more fun watching.

For more Adver-fill-in-the-blank stuff, go here. Thanks to Adra Graves for this one.

Girls Gone Wild Brand Extends to Guys, Restaurants

Hands Off Guys!

It was only a matter of time before the politically correct powers of the very un-politically correct empire of Joseph Francis, the man behind Girls Gone Wild, caught up and yielded another division of the 31 year old entrepreneur's clothing-challenged business model. For years, Girls Gone Wild videos have been produced building a $110 million operation purely from girls flashing their boobs. Now, it's guys who are being asked to flash for a Guys Gone Wild video series.

Francis went out and hired the very hot looking Misty Nicole (really, it's not a stripper's name), a 24 year old Texas native to shine the camera on drunk guys more than willing to display their nude selves to Nicole. Of course, guys being guys in the presence of a hot chick, the job posed some occupational hazards for Misty. Nicole explains, "They were asking me out on dates, trying to get me involved and grab my camera. That was the most annoying part of the job. It's flattering, but after you go over it a million times it gets annoying." Now why can't the guys leave her alone like the Girls Gone Wild girls left their camera men alone? Oh yea, that thing called testosterone. Hmm, not so easy to control.

Apart from rampantly drunk nudity, Francis is broadening his empire to other segments licensing the "Gone Wild" brand to restaurants, clothing manufacturers, music and movies.

"Girls Gone Wild is an entertainment franchise," Francis said. "I want to put that name on everything I can." MGM has even purchased rights it might use to take the brand to a teen comedy or reality movie. If Francis can stay out of court enough, he just might make this work.

Nextel Billboard Causes Car Crashes

A Nextel billboard in Cleveland Ohio has caused as many as five accidents in the past few months because motorists are shocked at what they see. The board features extensions which appear as mannequins of students working on their laptops. Motorists have complained that it looks as if someone is trying to jump off the board and perhaps commit suicide.

If Nextel wanted attention, they sure got it.

Game Show Network Launches Bikini Jiggle-Fest

The Game Show network will air a four episode series called "National Lampoon's Greek Games" which will pit teams against each other competing in embarrassing games. Framing the show honestly, host George Gray says the show is "an excuse for girls to wiggle in corn syrup." And, it's just another excuse to place a gratuitous picture with this story.

Games will include the above referred to "Gooey Ten Yard Dash" that calls for contestants to run ten yard through three inches of corn syrup, "Geek Distance Throw" where a bunch of frat brothers through a geek as far as they can into the water and "Human Baklava" where contestants stuff bread down their pants to....well, look like they are really excited about the games. The series premieres July 13 on GSN. Thanks to Adrants reader Charley Brough for the tip.