Defamer Reviews Early Copy of NBC 'Joey' Pilot

Defamer was slipped a tape of the CBS "Friends" spin-off "Joey" and says it's quite good but for some strange reason, it has a lot to do with breasts. Defamer writes, "The pacing of jokes goes something like this: Joey's dumb, Gina's tits...Joey's dumb, Joey's dumb, Gina's tits. Gina's tits. Whoa! Hot neighbor, Joey's boner, Joey's dumb, Gina's tits." OK, then. Be sure to tune in next Fall.

McDonalds: Cheaper Than Two Hits of Crack

With the tagline, "Did somebody be saying McDonalds? You're damn right. We loves it when you be smilin'," this is clearly an ad spoof McDonalds does not want you to see. Too bad. Courtesy of ApeChild and others, it's everywhere already. Asking, "Do you hopes to be getting a big ass meal for a fly price? McDonalds presents The Big Mother F'er."

The meal comes with a bottle of Colt 45, chit-lins, pigs feet Ccornbread bisquit and a big 'ol bucket of gravy. Hopefully this story doesn't come with cease and desist letters let alone the racial wrath that's sure to follow.

Egg Factory Launches Creepy Floor TV

For Marilyn Monroe, it was just the wind. Now it's advertisers who will be between your legs. Further confirming there's no end to the methods we advertisers will use to grab unsuspecting consumers, Egg Factory has launched Intellimat, a three by four foot floor mounted video display designed to deliver television-quality ads at the point of purchase.

Better hope some Intellimat developer geek hasn't placed a stealth-cam in the unit using it to take up-skirt pictures for their twisted viewing pleasure.

VOOM's Wrong Number: Stealth Campaign or Honest Dialing Error

Chicago-based freelance voice talent Tom O'Toole, has unwittingly found himself the recipient of phone calls from consumers hoping to sign up with the new VOOM satellite television service. O'Toole's studio phone number is 1-800-789-TOMO (8666). The number in a currently running VOOM ad is 1-866-789-VOOM (also 8666. Customers are reading "toll free" in the ad and automatically assuming it's an 800 number, not realizing VOOM's prefix is actually 866.

"I have been getting calls day and night from consumers seeing Voom's direct response TV commercial and calling 800-789-VOOM." said O'Toole in an email. "My studio number is 800-789-TOMO (8666). 8666 also spells Voom!"

"Callers don't believe me when I tell them I am not Voom, because I sound like a TV announcer. Duh!" Some even keep calling back again and again not believing they haven't reached 1 800 VOOM."

Reportedly, Voom Officials have been trying to track down the source of the confusion which may be caused by graphics overlays simply displaying call 800 GET VOOM, with no digit representation. Of course, this could also be an elaborately planned stealth campaign to promote both VOOM and or Tom O'Toole.

Jessica Simpson Continues Stupid Persona For Hershey's

Along with her sister, Ashlee, and claiming not to know whether Hershey Food's Ice Breakers Liquid Ice breath mints are liquid or ice, Jessica debates the conundrum with Ashlee as only two bimbos could. In the commercial, which promotes Hershey's Liquidorice website, Jessica says, "As a busy newlywed and singer, I know how important it is to have fresh breath. Whether it's liquid or it's ice -- Ashlee seems to think it's both -- Liquid Ice does the trick. But I'm a little stumped, so I'm hoping everyone will try it, decide for themselves."

While Hershey Foods SVP and CMO Thomas Hernquist said, "We are extremely excited to announce our partnership with Jessica Simpson. Jessica is very energetic, fun and sociable so she's a perfect match for our new product," in the back of his mind he was actually wondering, "How long is this stale, so yesterday homage to Simpson stupidity going to be milked?"

Yahoo Recruits For 'Life Engine' Ad Campaign

Yahoo is looking for people to share their "Yahoo Life Engine" stories and to star in its next ad campaign. Through June 10, those interested can visit this website and write a 150 word story on how Yahoo has bettered their lives. Twelve finalists will be chosen for screen test beginning July 8. Finalists will be voted on by Yahoo users with six entrants winning $2,000 and an appearance in an upcoming Yahoo television ad.

Why pay celebrities millions to appear in your ads when you can get cheap talent like this? It's the People's Republic of Advertising.

Amish Say No to 'Amish in the City'

An Amish group, The Center for Rural Strategies, has placed an ad in today's Philadelphia Inquirer against UPN' plans to air "Amish in the City," a reality show placing cloistered Amish kids into the real world.

Microsoft Butterflies Descend Upon Upfront

Deployed to remind those attending the television upfront hoopla, an army of Microsoft butterflies descended upon the upfront presentations of NBC and ABC and plan to appear at the CBS upfront today at Carnegie Hall. MSN Director of Marketing Eric Hadley says the butterfly squad is "a friendly reminder that online [media] and MSN drive incremental sales, and that viewers are watching more than one screen during their day." The butterflies are distributing a handout that highlights studies showing online's ability to increase offline sales as well as increase brand recognition.

McDonald's Launches Asian Website

McDonald's has launched a portal to tap the Asian marketing glorifying a demographic segment as only marketers can do. Tom Hespos isn't lovin' it.

Online Ad Networks Overviewed

ClickZ puts together a compressive overview of online ad networks with a chart detailing each network's pricing, targeting capabilities, profile, creative units and method of operation. Well worth a look if you are involved with online adverting.