The New Girl At Work Is Hot, Better Workout to Look Good For Her

Steve Portigal from Portigal Consulting notes this ad for UK health club Cannons with the headline, "Because a new girl has started at work and she's hot," wouldn't play so well in America or Canada because we're a bit more politically correct than our forefather nation. While the ad is harmless enough, we agree. No doubt, an army of cause groups would be all over this one as soon as it hit the streets.

Bulletproof Baby Has Trouble Pulling Off Bulletproof Guerilla Stunt

Have you ever felt your baby was just not bulletproof enough? (If you are 50 Cent's mother, probably - or not, depending on how you look at it).

Visit Bulletproof Baby for bulletproof cribs, strollers, vests, toddler tasers and disturbing product-test videos, all meant to ensure that you, the discerning customer, have a happy bundle of steel.

Actually it's a stunt for New Line Cinema's Shoot 'Em Up, which is linked pretty prominently on the homepage. Even so, a PR person still saw fit to shoot us at least three emails this morning about how it was dramatically unveiled as a promotional effort after a long and controversial internet run. (We have serious doubts about this.)

And while we have no idea what that movie has to do with babies, we know it has plenty to do with bullets. And Clive Owen.

Tampon Absorbs Entire Pool

Tampon maker O.B. has left all the crap about comfort and simplicity behind and zeroed on the product's main benefit: it absorbs a shitload of liquid. Enough said. I mean really. What else can be said about this ad? It's truly brilliant. Maybe a bit gross but brilliant none the less. That is, of course, if it is, in fact, a real ad.

KFC Makes Hunger Strike Game, and That's All We Can Say About It

We're a little confused about this new game, dubbed Hunger Strike, for KFC. At first we thought it was like Pac-Man, but there don't appear to be any enemies to either run from or eat. Then we thought maybe it might be more esoteric, like this game, but no; the graphics don't really do anything, and the music is frozen in a hellish loop.

We just know we keep losing, and we don't understand why, so now we feel resentful toward chicken.

American Apparel Makes Friday Masturbation Day

Having followed the American Apparel campaign for some time, Copyranter reacted to the latest iteration with the following headline, "It's Friday. Why Don't You Masturbate." One can't ask for a better headline when it comes to discussing American Apparel campaigns which, for a long time, have been one step above porn. It's just Dov Charney's way and who are we to complain. Sex is supposed to sell, right?

Trunk Monkey Returns, DC Does Ad Week, Baby Not Bulletprof

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The Trunk Monkey has returned. Sadly, he's not as funny as he once was.

- The Creative Weblogging Network has launched a self-service shop to help advertisers choose from its 130 blogs.

- Seems Washington DC doesn't want to miss out on the fun and has launched its own Advertising Week to be held September 17-21.

- More smelly ads can be found in the Los Angeles Times.

- Not that anyone heard of it in the first place but the creators of Bullet Proof Baby want us to know the site was part of a promotion for the movie Shoot 'Em Up.

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Red Strip Sells Beers to Paraplegic Drunk

There's just no end to the fuckery contextual advertising delivers. This time, we have Red Stripe beer advertising directly next to a story about two guys who got arrested while driving the same truck...together...while drunk. Even weirder, one of the guys was a paraplegic so he steered while his friend worked the pedals. You just can't make this shit up.

I'll Take Some Air Conditioning With That Global Warming Billboard

Alt Terrain's W. Thomas Porter snapped this shot of an Ad Council Robertson Foundation global warming billboard which offers onlookers two choices: do nothing or go to the fightglobalwarming.com/nyc site. Appropriately, two window air conditioners poke through the board next to the do nothing selection. Perfect.

Farting Farmer and Nice Cans Sell Microbrewery

If you like farms with pigs, cows, fish, farting farmers, aliens and atomic bombs that launch out of grain silos, you're gonna love this new site for Butternuts Beer & Ale from Woods Witt Dealy & Sons. just click around and have fun. Don't forget to click on the tractor in the back.

Along with the website, the campaign also includes print ads, table tents, packaging, posters and a MySpace page, all of which can be seen here. In one of the print ads, the cans are celebrated with the write-itself headline, Nice Cans. The ad is also carries a blue ribbon honoring the breweries position as best brewery in Garrattsville, New York. Not that there's any other brewers there which , of course, is the entire point of the ribbon.

Dubbed "farmhouse ale" (whatever that is) the beer's got great names like Porkslap, Heinnieweisse and Moo Thunder. If a microbrewer has to set itself apart from the pack, aligning the brand with farm nomenclature is certainly one way to do it.

Vogue Invites us to 'Feel the Glam Forest,' We Politely Decline

The notion that out there is a wilderness dripping with pleasures in the raw is incredibly attractive. That's why Willy Wonka's candy forest still lingers in our dreams.

We're also guessing that's what Lowe, Athens had in mind when it invented a world ornamented in jewelry for Vogue (not the magazine). See variation here.

From a distance, the ads look compelling. Up close, they strike us as clumsy and pedestrian. The jewelry seems copy/pasted, and something about the way the models are dressed evokes a poorly-stocked costume rack in some photo studio we hope to never visit.

And come on. The glam forest? Really? Was that the best you could do?