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QSOL Servers Won't Go Down On You

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Shake Well Before Use writer Ariel Waldman, living up to the technology, advertising and, most importantly, sex aspects of her site's tagline, brings us this QSOL server ad that's got everyone's panties and jockstraps in a twist. With the headline "Don't feel bad, our servers won't go down on you either" not so subtly placed next to an image of a woman's face with giant red lips (like we haven't seen that image anywhere before) who looks like she might actually be ready to, this ad conjures every bad stereotype out there regarding geeks, their technology and their seeming inability to get any.

It's even got feministas all a twitter ("The misogyny is obvious, since the ad treats women explicitly and entirely like sexual objects."). But the best thing about this tempest in a Donny Deutsch Speedo is the comment from Sarah MC who wrote, "Sometimes I really feel for men. They buy a product (women), expecting it to work like it's supposed to (sexual slave), and it malfunctions! There really is no justice." Indeed.

There's really no reason or us all to get turgidly heated over this becasue a simple re-write of the headline will make this all go away: "Don't feel bad, our ad won't sell any servers either."

by Steve Hall    Aug-10-07    
Topic: Bad, Magazine, Opinion, Racy



DraftFCB Cobbles Coors Spot From Dennis Green Outburst

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Almost one year late, Coors and its agency, DraftFCB (we're sure George Parker will have comment on this), are attempting to create a Coors Light spot using last falls press conference outburst from then Arizona Head Coach Dennis Green. During the outburst, following a loss to the Chicago Bears after a 20-0 lead, Green screamed "If you want to crown them, crown their asses. They are what we thought they were and we let 'em off the hook!" After which, he walked away from the podium.

Apparently, Coors and DraftFCB are having a tough time coming up with something. Meanwhile, it's all over YouTube including endless spoofs, some of which are probably better than anything DraftFCB will come up with.

by Steve Hall    Aug-10-07    
Topic: Bad, Commercials



Free Hand Ads: Paper Media isn't Dying; it's Waiting for You!

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A new company called Free Hand Ads proposes putting brand names across the top margin of college-ruled pieces of paper. Paper with ads printed on them are free to students.

Per a quick conversation with the founders at ad:tech Chicago, the idea hasn't been banned or even much frowned-upon by either high schools or students.

So in the last couple years left of paper-shuffling in schools, you might as well get your brand name into the hands of some penny-scrimping students.

And while you're at it, you might as well hit college bluebooks, too.

by Angela Natividad    Aug-10-07    
Topic: Direct



And, the Cheap Buzz Merchants are at It Again

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Alex Tew's Million Dollar Homepage has spawned another copycat. A boy named Graham (at left) has launched Million Dollar Wiki, an opportunity to own a completely customizable page for a mere $100 a pop.

So far we've found pages for buying a blogger, Fender guitars and letters to businesses. We can't believe this guy has already sold almost 300 pages. Guess we'll see if lightning can strike twice and the million dollar idea makes another millionaire out of another earnest kid.

by Angela Natividad    Aug-10-07    
Topic: Online



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Proof Fine Furnishing Uses Natural Prints to Say 1,000 Words

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To suggest what fragile harmony can exist between man and nature, Proof Fine Furnishing sent us a couple of prints created by Leo Burnett, Singapore.

The tagline quietly reads, "Naturally attractive." You probably can't see it very well but the vase at left is actually composed of butterflies, which you can see more clearly if you zoom in on the PDF version.

We dig the elegance and attention to detail to the pieces, which demand a long look. These kinds of ads, in which you have to do the pursuing, are an undervalued commodity in an environment littered with competing messages.

Check out a lamp stand made of moths here.

by Angela Natividad    Aug- 9-07    
Topic: Good, Poster



Hard-Ass Sport, Longtime Legends, Hip-Hop Luminaries Join in Testosterone-Topia

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Video game publisher 2K Sports has pulled digital firm EVB into its ranks to build a lifestyle marketing campaign called Football Resurrected.

A big plug for All-Pro Football 2K8, the virtual game boasts 300 pigskin "legends" including Jerry Rice and Barry Sanders, as well as a few familiar faces of underground hip-hop, including Hieroglyphics, Jurassic 5, Pep Love and even Rakim.

The site is pretty cool and the raps, which revolve entirely around "the resurrection of 2K Sports," are damn sound. It's all really clever and whatnot.

If the musical icons from our beat-banging youth aren't going to rap about their shoes or how cool they are or how lame haters can be or how love pounds you into submission, they might as well be rapping about football.

We're all just trying to get paid at the end of the day, right? Right.

by Angela Natividad    Aug- 9-07    
Topic: Celebrity, Good, Online, Sponsorship



New Big Fat Camels Get All Freudian on Us

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Our dirty-minded friend Freud once said a cigar is just a cigar. But there's something deliciously perverse about the outdoor ads for Camel's new menthol Wides, which are "big fat delicious."

For some, it may be all too tempting to set a new Wide between their lips and...

Suck?

Blow some smoke?

Light that fire?

There's no way this can end nicely.

by Angela Natividad    Aug- 9-07    
Topic: Brands, Outdoor, Racy



The Rumors are True: Heinz Ketchup Leads to Big Surprises

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If you're going to run a UGC campaign, you're inevitably going to get some entries that just aren't after your best interest.

We thought this entry for Heinz was awesome, mainly because it poked fun at the whole UGC idea, and also because it reminded us of when we were kids and thought everything had "that secret ingredient" (or a "secret ingredient" pesticide) in it - from Cheetos to Mountain Dew.

KetchupFriends, which created the entry, actually put together a whole series of equally subversive oeuvres for Heinz. This one's creepy as hell but you get the idea.

We're wondering if the "friends" behind the ketchup are actually enlisted by the brand in some way. If so, that's a risky positioning move that maybe wants rewarding.

We'll keep mum about your dark side, Heinz. Don't worry.

by Angela Natividad    Aug- 9-07    
Topic: Online, Spoofs



Slingbox Gives Us Subservient Manslave

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Remember that Slingbox concept from so-long-ago-that-it's-not-even-worth-the-recall? Apparently it's still around, and in an effort to rekindle public interest in the whole control-your-TV concept, they've given us a stiff, somewhat unwilling human version of subservient chicken.

The options for what he can do are limited and, because he seems so unhappy about life, continuing to force him to Macarena and Frug stems from a quality of sadism and not actual voyeuristic interest.

by Angela Natividad    Aug- 9-07    
Topic: Online



Windorphins Prove that Outdoor Still Works

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We were stalking the streets of NYC one night when we saw this compromised poster that said "Windorphins are like a ticker tape parade for your soul." A ticker tape parade is too exciting to turn down so we dashed drunkenly home and plugged windorphins.com into our browser.

After 10 or 11 tries we arrived at the site and discovered that Windorphins are a "natural byproduct of eBay" and are the hormonal result of a victory. The site features studies, celebrity comparisons ("Who's got more Windorphins?"), an opportunity to make your own "Windorphs" (like Weemees, except in your bloodstream!) -- and of course a place to conduct searches on eBay.

The campaign wasn't super-imaginative but we're fairly sure it's more successful than a lot of online efforts out there, mainly because eBay advertises outdoor. Which brings up a good point: just because you're running an online campaign doesn't mean you should only advertise over the internet.

by Angela Natividad    Aug- 9-07    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Good, Online, Outdoor



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