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Face Rubbing Ass Clad in Red Speedo Somehow Sells Gum According to one Adrants reader, this commercial for Trident Spearmint Watermelon Splash is "plaguing" Canada. We can certainly see why. It's not a stretch to assume opera goers - or anyone for that matter - would take too kindly to a guy strolling into the auditorium wearing nothing but a red Speedo and rubbing his ass in people's faces as he made his way to his seat. Somehow this is supposed to sell gum. We're at a loss to see how. ADDY Awards Bites Self in Ass With Pompous Irony You've gotta love when things go so full circle they have to come around and bite themselves in the ass with irony in order to sustain themselves. From Tierney Communications comes this promotion, So You Won an ADDY, for the ADDY Awards in which a pompous ass, Hugh McManstash, sits in front of a fire spouting witty barbs about the pompousity of being an award winning top dog. No doubt, yet another award show will announce itself tomorrow. Online Game Encourages Community, Existential Advertising There's all kinds of time-wasters people can play online and there's innumerable ways for people to win money. There's also hundreds of mindless advertising awards show that offer up nothing more than pretty statues to collect dust in your office. Why not combine all this into something that's fun and involves people outside of the industry as well. Dubbed existential advertising, Lost (the site, not the show) is a place where people can join, invite others and get creative in doing so. Instead of link-begging (which is all we're up to at this point, sadly), players are urged to come up with creative ways to invite people to the site. For each person that accepts an invitation, the inviter gets a point. If they don't get any points withing a 30 day period, they lose and they are out of the game. If them win, they get $5,000. Give it a try. Laundry Detergent Commercial Explodes In Colorful Glee Spicing up the laundry detergent category, UK agency Bartle Bogle Hegary has created a visually interesting commercial for Unilever's Persil. Dubbed Persil small & mighty, the detergent is concentrated and it's tagline promises "Small cap, mighty results." Narrated by a small boy who explains how his mother pours the detergent into the was which results in a "ginormous firework," the commercial does, indeed, explode with color in front of a stark, white background. It's certainly exciting and we wonder if our black and tan wardrobe needs a bit of spicing up after seeing this colorfully orgasmic clothing explosion. First Super Bowl 2008 Consumer-Generated Effort Launched Damn, we just got over all the Super Bowl 2007 hype and now we have to start thinking about Super Bowl 2008 all because three guys decided to launch a Million Dollar homepage-style site, called MyBowlAd, that promises advertisers space on t-shirts the three will wear in a :30 they hope to place in the game with the money they raise. Thanks guys. We were at least hoping to get through the Summer and now we have to create a Super Bowl 2008 category ten months before we normally would have. Anyway, they promise Internet celebrities will join them in their effort. Perhaps they'll hook up with Lonelygirl15. If the project gets legs, we're destined to hear about companies and products we never knew existed like premiere sponsor Table Shox, a device puts car-like miniature shock absorbers under a table's feet to cure wobbliness. We just can't to see who signs up next. One Armed Caveman Eats Candy Bar, Gets Munched If you're a caveman (no, not the Geico caveman because you, my friend, would somehow think this is yet another slight on your kind) and you're eating a "Half Chocolately, Half Candy, Half Crazy" Vertigo bar from Topps Confections, you might want to keep your arms close by. The campaign, which kicks off March 19, was created by Duval Guillaume New York and will air through May 28 on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, ABC Family among others. Here's a look at one of the four :15's. Milk Makes Pretty Game, Tests Willingness to Wait, We Fail A tip-off from Frederik Samuel: Goodby, Silverstein and Partners put together this visually lush site for Milk called Get the Glass. We love the attention to detail and the character mix but by the time we got to the game (which we looked forward to playing until the countdown lag) we were antsy out of our minds. Did you guys have to start the preloading countdown at, like, 80? What were you thinking? Once it got to 55 and we realized you were serious, we had already decided we would build our own toy wonderland in the duration and torch it out of vengeance. Senior Eye Ad Sparks Outrageously Juvenile Compulsion We're minding our own business, reading an article on reverse mortgages for a fear-induced high, when we see this ad for Jeffrey D Horn, MD, vision specialist. And now we feel this insane compulsion to don a white coat, walk down the street and bark "Cataracts slowing you down? GET YOUR ZOOM BACK!" at innocent spectacled passersby. If we didn't have titanic strength of will we most undoubtedly would, unbridled and uncut. Sometimes your message just doesn't interpret the way it ought to. But maybe it's not the ad. Maybe we should just stop trolling senior citizen websites. Maybe we should stop mixing vodka in our orange juice at breakfastime. There could be a thousand contributing factors here. W. Virginia Psychs Out Would-Be Tourists with 'Why Bother?' Approach
"There's value in the copy," says travel/marketing director Liz Chewning of WV's tourism division. "You choose the words carefully and try to surprise your reader, hooking them by saying the unexpected." 'October Road' Tries Too Hard, Fails We tend to go for the melodramatic, the wannabee hipsteresque and anything with Laura Prepon but we're just not sure about ABC's new drama october road. The anachronistic selection of music in the form of Boston's Don't Look Back and REO Speedwagon's Take it on the Run, tries way too hard, and strangely so, to define the period of time between the main character's leaving town and his return a mere ten years later. If, as the main character in this series did, wrote a book that so maligned his hometown friends, why would he return? Oh wait. This is TV. This is conflict and conflict is a key ingredient in drama. Too bad it comes off like a 13 year old whining to their parents because they won't allow the kid to spend yet another hour mindlessly IMing senseless missives. Oh, and that last line of the episode, "the way I see it, this thing's in diapers," has to be the lamest attempt at creating a catch phrase since Lacey Chabert tried to make "fetch" work in Mean Girls. 
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