Test Drive a Land Rover. On Your Phone!

"But how do I do that?" you wonder.

Actually, you can't. But if you have a Blackberry, Treo or iPhone, you can locate a dealership and schedule a test drive.

"This is everything I've ever wanted!" you cry.

Wait! Don't thank us. Thank Ford, Mediaedge:cia and AdMob.

Cleveland Agency Gives Patriotic Treatment to Elevator Rescue

It seems even the most mundane things such as...oh...an elevator rescue make their way to YouTube. Courtesy of Cleveland-based Brokaw, which has the most hilarious Flash intro we've ever seen, we are blessed with this patriotic production of a person rescued from a stuck elevator in Brokaw's building.

Not news? Hey, it's Friday. We have space to fill before he head off to Boise to get drunk with George and ponder why Advertising Age still employs Bob Garfield.

Top Ten Hottest Mobile Phone Girls Highlighted

Dial A Phone has put together a top ten list of mobile phone ads which feature hot women. And, oh yes, just as in all advertising, if you buy the product the hot girl is pimping, you'll get the hot girl for yourself. Or so the story continues to be told even as it is, time and time again, proven wrong. Hey, we aren't complaining one bit. We love to look, to fantasize and even to drool just a bit.

American Apparel Ad Complaints Get Slammed

After receiving a copy of a recent American Apparel ad (which appeared in the Austin Chronicle) with a sticky note adhered to it which read, "My God!! What were you thinking? What the hell are you selling anyway?", Austin Chronicle writer Michael Bartnett humorously dissects the query and offers up a lengthy and witty reply.

You Want It. You Need It. The iHam 5J!

It's a high-cholesterol take on Apple's design-makes-the-man ethos.

This was part of an in-office Christmas promo for the employees of Shackleton Direct. Packages included a CD, manual and "iKnife." The site somehow generated 400,000 visits across Latin internet audiences and 100,000 YouTube views, says Shackleton.

In exchange for serving as muse, the team sent an iHam package to Steve Jobs. Awww.

Delta Gets Cute with Classic In-Flight Safety Video

Adrants reader Atif sent us Delta's new airline safety video. It's all slick production and jammed with in-flight classics:

o A hot pilot
o A distractingly hot spokes-stewardess (Dubbed "Deltalina" by the Flyertalk forum geeks, for her similarity to Angelina Jolie)
o The requisite forced enthusiasm for the 5 minutes of life-saving schlock we've heard 30382943908453908 times
o The "No Smoking" finger wave
o An Orbit tooth glisten, complete with sound effects (wait for it!)

The spot felt gimmicky because it was gimmicky. But maybe there's genius in thinking a formulaic safety video can win back some groove with a commercial tribute feel.

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Microsoft Promises to Stop Being So Damn Mean

The breakdown of its commitment:

o Open APIs (a la Google) for Microsoft Office
o 30,000 shared pages of documentation for Windows client and server protocols
o Resisting the temptation to sue the crap out of open source devs

We'll see how long that lasts. What's the turnaround time for a bully in rehab?

Tom Ford Squeezes Nuts. Accomplishes Nothing

Copyranter loves (hates) Tom Ford ads. We do too. Sort of like the idiocy of Dolce and Gabanna ads, Tom Ford insist on foisting oddly sexual (but not really) imagery upon us in an effort to get us to somehow believe using his products will make our lives better. If getting our nuts violently grabbed by a naked woman with an expression that could kill is his idea of persuasion, it's doing a great job making us run in an entirely opposite direction.

Che Magazine Continues to Celebrate Fact Men Lust After Women

Without fear of American political correctness or the nation's apparent refusal to accept men are, in fact, sexually attracted to women, we are thankful to have Che Magazine's continuing campaign which gleefully and without apology offers up women as objects of desire to increase circulation. Oh there's a joke in there somewhere but we're gonna leave that to you.

Created by Antwerp's Duval Guillaume, the ad envisions the ideal desk calendar for the man trudging, wearily, through his day when he'd rather be tossing everything off his desk and throwing that hottie down on it for some intense mid-afternoon tension relief. Come on, you know it's true. Just admit it.

See the ad in its full sized glory here.

Returning Stork Brings Hope to Grayed-Out Life

This Monster.com Stork commercial is so good both Angela and I had to write about it. Predictably, Bob Garfield didn't like it so much. At first, we were going to compare the commercial to that odd, Cannes-winning IKEA lamp spot back in 2003 but then we realized, hey, this Stork spot is actually good. Really good. Like a slap to the face, it makes one realize the pit of a life into which one may have fallen and how one needs to kick oneself in the ass to make a better life. With a new job from Monster.com, of course.

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Vibrator Ads Vibrate. Witty. Not Really

Oh for the love of vibrator ads! Apparently, all ideas have been used up when it comes to the category to the only thing that's left is to highlight a vibrator's product benefit by...oh...vibrating the ad. While certainly a different concept, the women in the ads look about as excited as your grandmother sitting on the toilet squeezing one out.

OK, at least one girl is grinning and...OMG...her bra strap is revealed! See the full on vibrating glory here, here and here.