Drink This And You Will Pee Flames

There's already enough horrific scenarios out there for men and their penises. We don't need yet another Bobbit, gallstone, STD or broken erection nightmare messing with our head (s). But some energy drink had to go and do it. Ow. Just ow.

We can't quite make out the brand of beverage here. For all we know it's just another spoof from some spiteful art director with penis envy.

Newspaper Increases Circulation, Pigs Fly

"When pigs fly" would be the appropriate response to anyone discussing the notion of a newspaper increasing its circulation. Well, the Philadelphia Inquirer did increase its circ and pigs did, in fact, fly. Beginning last Thursday night, to celebrate the paper's 63,000 circulation increase and with help from Gyro Worldwide, flying pigs adorned the Philadelphia Inquirer building. Along with flying pigs, Gyro developed a print and radio campaign to celebrate the increase. Check out the video of flying pigs here. It's not something you see very often especially when it relates to newspapers.

Pedestrian Death Crosswalk Ad Defeats Intended Purpose

While we think its a great idea to call attention to the number of pedestrian deaths by doing so at one potential point of death, the crosswalk, we don't think asking people to read the names of dead people and other "don't walk and die"-related messages while crossing the road is a smart move. One primary preventer of death is to simply pay attention to your surroundings. Distractions such as this would seem to increase the very problem it's trying to prevent. A perfect idea of creative conference room idea gone wrong.

Of course, following this line of logic, all forms of roadside advertising such as billboards should be banned since, when driving, people should be paying attention to the road, not reading billboards, right?

Cheerleaders Aren't the Only Ones Who Need Saving

We love expansive thinking and chain-of-event style dramas such as NBC's Heroes so it is without surprise we think this newish campaign, Save the Monkeys, for Swedish carbohydrate supplement Gainomax is one of the wittiest we've seen in a long time. Borrowing Heroes' famed premise, "save the cheerleader, save the world," Gainomax, in a hilarious logic-taken-to-the-extreme video called Bananageddon, asks us to "save the monkys, save the world" by drinking Gainomax after exercise instead of eating a banana.

In the Bananageddon, a world without bananas becomes a world without moneys which, in turn, leads to a world full of lice and world leaders who can do nothing expect perpetuate the extinction of all human life...all because we eat bananas. Yes, it sounds very twisted so just watch the video and it will all make perfect sense. Well, sort of.

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Caveman Sucks, Cool Chased, Doodles Published, 90210 Reborn

- Apparently, the much anticipated ABC Caveman sitcom based on the Geico ad campaign really sucks.

- But he gets to be an action figure.

- Cynopsis Digital reports, "American Eagle Outfitters is sponsoring It's a Mall World, its first original series for the web. Shorter three-minute versions of the comedy will premier on air during MTV's Real World from August 1."

- Publicis has re dubbed Modem Media Publicis Modem. OK, then.

- If you're cool enough to work in advertising then you're probably cool enough to read Chasing Cool.

- We've all spent countless hours wasting time in pointless meetings and have passed the time by, perhaps, doodling on the equally pointless meeting agenda. This guy turned his doodling into a business.

- Diet Pepsi does 90210. Anachronistically. And badly.

Volvo Sets Scavengers on Typo - Er, Treasure Hunt

Volvo thinks it's the only vehicle sound enough to transport buried treasure from the Caribbean to your home. We would've guessed armored car, private jet or pirate ship, but you know, whatever.

Indulge the automaker by digging around for the gold doubloons and car key they hid for a campaign collabo with Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.

If you're too jaded to do that, indulge us by playing Bill's game instead.

That's what we did. Why hunting down a stylistic inconsistency won out over doubloons, though, is anybody's guess.

Solving puzzles posited by cryptic voices just seemed like too much of a commitment. There are other things that demand our time.

Like Bloxie.

Bus Bears Condoms in Childless Austria

Adrants reader Tian is spending a couple weeks in Austria and conveying funny ads he's seeing along the way. One thing that caught his eye was this bus swathed in condoms for Bristol-Myers Squibb.

Come on, BMS. Think outside the box a little. You know what would be really awesome? A bus of that size that actually appeared encased in a condom. Preferably one on a route with a tunnel or two. There's a winner.

Not that Austria suffers from too much fertility. Apparently they're having a hell of a time trying to get their dwindling populace to reproduce. Maybe that condom bus is doing too good of a job as-is.

Bloxie is Latest Poison to Join Candystand Family

Candystand takes advantage of us. We know this. Whenever they send us a new game, we crack our knuckles and prepare to trash them.

Unfortunately we can't, because the games have gotten really freakin' good. No, scratch that. The Candystand folk are just mighty talented at isolating classic standbys (ping pong? Come on) and appropriating them for their own maniacal purposes. Consider Bloxie, a new concoction that's had us stuck on stupid for at least a half hour.

If we could track how many hours we've lost on the Candystand website, we'd probably find we're putting in the same amount of time as a Wrigley's intern.

10 Ton Says Entertainment is Key to Engagement

With a dependable combination of vivid colour, fast cuts, screenplay dialogue and campy melodrama, the video at Get Engaged Quickly accomplishes what we thought it wouldn't: it had us watching until the end.

Get Engaged Quickly is a promotional effort for 10 Ton, an agency that posits the rules of audience engagement have changed, and they hold the golden key: entertaining, rather than intrusive, video.

It's not like we didn't already know people want to be entertained and not pitched. But now that there's somebody to pay to think on behalf of the major players, perhaps we'll start seeing some good stuff.

We don't buy the notion that the best virals are by nature non-corporate. The best virals are by nature authentic. If you can be authentic, you're going to move people. Consider the (exhaustive) success of Dove Evolution.

Guess it helps to have Oprah accolades too.

Strong Bones Help Against Lax Gravity

Having been accustomed to Got Milk? campaigns that generally just present us with celebrities who can't wipe their mouths, we like the contrast of Hispanic-targeting Toma Leche?, which paints improbable stories about why milk is more relevant to everyday life than it actually may be. (Hey, we're avid milk drinkers here, just sayin').

For example, its tooth-strengthening properties can leverage you in an island where people giggle all day. And in a city where gravity is less rule than inclination, those tough bones certainly do come in handy.

Creative courtesy of RL Public Relations and Marketing.

Badminton Brings Legitimacy to Enhanced Water ... Oh Wait.

Because badminton is as much a sport as Glaceau's Vitamin Water is water, we thought this quirky Vitamin Water ad featuring Urlacher and Ortiz was appropriate.

Thanks Bill for the tip. We're also glad at least one more person out there is frowning dubiously at the merits of badminton.

And yeah, we can say that, because we were on the high school badminton team. Why did we join the high school badminton team? Because the pain-inducing potential of tennis balls frightened us. Although apparently shuttlecocks can be equally scary, if the above ad is any authority.