Face Rubbing Ass Clad in Red Speedo Somehow Sells Gum

According to one Adrants reader, this commercial for Trident Spearmint Watermelon Splash is "plaguing" Canada. We can certainly see why. It's not a stretch to assume opera goers - or anyone for that matter - would take too kindly to a guy strolling into the auditorium wearing nothing but a red Speedo and rubbing his ass in people's faces as he made his way to his seat. Somehow this is supposed to sell gum. We're at a loss to see how.

ADDY Awards Bites Self in Ass With Pompous Irony

You've gotta love when things go so full circle they have to come around and bite themselves in the ass with irony in order to sustain themselves. From Tierney Communications comes this promotion, So You Won an ADDY, for the ADDY Awards in which a pompous ass, Hugh McManstash, sits in front of a fire spouting witty barbs about the pompousity of being an award winning top dog. No doubt, yet another award show will announce itself tomorrow.

Online Game Encourages Community, Existential Advertising

There's all kinds of time-wasters people can play online and there's innumerable ways for people to win money. There's also hundreds of mindless advertising awards show that offer up nothing more than pretty statues to collect dust in your office. Why not combine all this into something that's fun and involves people outside of the industry as well.

Dubbed existential advertising, Lost (the site, not the show) is a place where people can join, invite others and get creative in doing so. Instead of link-begging (which is all we're up to at this point, sadly), players are urged to come up with creative ways to invite people to the site. For each person that accepts an invitation, the inviter gets a point. If they don't get any points withing a 30 day period, they lose and they are out of the game. If them win, they get $5,000. Give it a try.

Laundry Detergent Commercial Explodes In Colorful Glee

Spicing up the laundry detergent category, UK agency Bartle Bogle Hegary has created a visually interesting commercial for Unilever's Persil. Dubbed Persil small & mighty, the detergent is concentrated and it's tagline promises "Small cap, mighty results." Narrated by a small boy who explains how his mother pours the detergent into the was which results in a "ginormous firework," the commercial does, indeed, explode with color in front of a stark, white background.

It's certainly exciting and we wonder if our black and tan wardrobe needs a bit of spicing up after seeing this colorfully orgasmic clothing explosion.

First Super Bowl 2008 Consumer-Generated Effort Launched

Damn, we just got over all the Super Bowl 2007 hype and now we have to start thinking about Super Bowl 2008 all because three guys decided to launch a Million Dollar homepage-style site, called MyBowlAd, that promises advertisers space on t-shirts the three will wear in a :30 they hope to place in the game with the money they raise. Thanks guys. We were at least hoping to get through the Summer and now we have to create a Super Bowl 2008 category ten months before we normally would have. Anyway, they promise Internet celebrities will join them in their effort. Perhaps they'll hook up with Lonelygirl15.

If the project gets legs, we're destined to hear about companies and products we never knew existed like premiere sponsor Table Shox, a device puts car-like miniature shock absorbers under a table's feet to cure wobbliness. We just can't to see who signs up next.

One Armed Caveman Eats Candy Bar, Gets Munched

If you're a caveman (no, not the Geico caveman because you, my friend, would somehow think this is yet another slight on your kind) and you're eating a "Half Chocolately, Half Candy, Half Crazy" Vertigo bar from Topps Confections, you might want to keep your arms close by. The campaign, which kicks off March 19, was created by Duval Guillaume New York and will air through May 28 on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, ABC Family among others. Here's a look at one of the four :15's.