E-Trade Pulls a Witty One with One Finger

What can you do with one finger, besides the obvious? Amuse a baby and save a country, among other things. E-Trade lists the possibilities, then ties it all back into its clickable stock portfolio.

We just twirled one finger in feigned amusement. We liked this way better than the bank robber ad.

Flomax Isn't A Feminine Napkin. It's A Male Urinary Drug

We admit it's mean to make fun of people with ailments such as men who "want to to spend more time having fun and less time in the men's room, to guys who want to go less at night" but we must say, the commercial for male urinary and prostate drug Flomax made us sit upright in our seats after all those other distractingly humorous Super Bowl ads. Aside from the fact the product sounds like the name of a feminine napkin, something about medical ads that creeps us out.

Barkley Gets Dissed by Waitress for TMobile's Faves

TMobile promotes its MyFaves feature with a spot where Charles Barkley gets high and mighty with Wade about the degree of his fame. Barkley's soon shot down by a young waitress who knows Wade but not him.

The idea of ball players getting all touchy about something as trite as who gets to be on their faves is unfailingly funny, plus Barkley makes priceless "WTF???" faces. And after writing a book called I May Be Wrong But I Doubt It, it's good to know he can laugh at the public's perspective of his own lightweight pompousness.

Jay-Z, Shula appear for 30-Second Bud Spot

There's no doubt that despite the creative deficit Budweiser is spending serious money this year. We just witnessed a short spot featuring Jay-Z and Coach Don Shula, massive movers and shakers in their own respective universes, battling coolly over a game where the stakes are gigantic. The spot serves to make the icons feel both human but totally remote in their financial statosphere. An interesting, albeit tired, effect.

Rob Goulet Gets Nutty in Your Cubicle

Apparently Robert Goulet is to blame for every office mishap you've ever suffered. That coffee spill across your keyboard? Totally Robert Goulet. And how did those sensitive documents get into the shredder?

Thankfully, the afflicted can tote the Robert Goulet equivalent of a clove of garlic. Robert Goulet is horrified by Emerald nuts. Just be sure to keep them around because he comes back with every new day. See spot here.

Budweiser Crabs Come Out to Play, Worship

We've seen teases of this Budweiser Super Bowl ad in which an army of crabs steals a cooler full of Bud, makes off with it and then bows at its feet in worship. Although we're not sure highlighting the worship of your product by such lowly creatures as crabs is necessarily a positive. It's OK though because the commercial has hotties in bikinis in it to distract us from that notion. See the ad here.

Jack's Son Fails Him with Critical Life Choice

Jack in the Box releases an ad in which Jack's son announces to his school that while he's proud of his pops, he'd like to become a vegetarian. Jack immediately covers the video camera he was so proudly wielding and sits down, head in hands.

We feel his pain. Our parents wore the same look when we told them we were leaving medical school for marketing. See the ad here.

Disney Goes Flat with 'Meet the Robinsons'

Movie and television ads that air during precious Super Bowl ad time are never terribly noteworthy. Disney's "Meet the Robinsons" ad is no exception. It only tells us they've run out of both imagination and fairy tales to rob, but anything involving an orphan and the future does decently, right?

Career Builder Stages Pit Fight for Promotions

We couldn't help laughing at that Career Builder ad in which a bunch of office cogs get all decked-out and destroy each other in a jungle pit for their next promotion. At some point a delivery guy who doesn't even work with them starts mauling everybody with ninja moves. It'll be a big hit, we're sure, with the middle-aged, cubicle-stuck and breakroom-embittered. See the ad here.

Gorillas Ponder Leaping at Bud Light Guy

Clearly Bud is more quantity than quality this year. Funny. See the ad here.

E-Trade Stages Bank Robbery ... By Banks

Because sometimes you do feel raped and pillaged post teller-visit. We're not sure how E-Trade can help considering active investments defeat the idea of just parking money someplace "secure," but whatever. The friendly waves, cuddly animal masks and thank-yous to the hostages were good touches. See the ad here.

Luxury Car Ads Miss Points

The sub-par ads for Lexus and Infiniti we just witnessed are elegant in the usual style but there's not really anything else to them. They're not even all that interesting to look at. Can somebody please explain to these fine retailers what the Super Bowl is and who's watching right now? Can't you laugh at yourself in an ad, or at least make us laugh, once in a whole year?

Men Strip for Chevy HHR Ladies

OK. It's cheesy. It's lame. It's hideous. but we love it. Love it! Call us sick but we love the consumer-created Chevy HHR commercial in which guys turn into street strippers for a couple of women in a car. See the ad here.

Prince Halftime Show Leaves More Than Half to Be Desired

Halftime shows are typically fine if forgettable performances, the only exception in recent memory being Janet and Justin's pop-infused duet which ended ... well, you know how it ended.

Still, we knew we'd have to prepare ourselves for something decidedly cringe-worthy when lightning struck the stage at the opening of the halftime show. And indeed, our expectations were met when Prince appeared swathed in a cobalt blue suit, breezy orange blouse and black doo-rag, on a platform shaped like a fucking ankh, topped off with a menagerie of guitar transitions.

We have to give kudos to a guy who can not only play real mean but successfully set off a bazillion pyrotechnics despite a torrent of rain. Still, there remains a lot to wince about. The stage leaks so much smoke the dancers are not just obscured but nearly asphyxiated. Oh and look, a band with glo-sticks lining their uniforms. And a cover of "Proud Mary" with a very bad Tina Turner stand-in. Can you say lame explosion?

We dig "Purple Rain" and the ankh guitar, plus that gigantic phallic silhouette - nice touch. Prince expectedly pulls off a great if damn pompous production. We simply fail to understand how he can ooze sex, wear purple velour and tote ankhs at the same time, and we also think his music's gone south since the "When Doves Cry" days.

A good safe choice, however. And in Prince's defense, this was a far better presentation than the oft-mentioned "wardrobe malfunction." Unfortunately, nixing the reams of negative press, an FCC-spawned moral crisis, the consequent media chill effect, and a fine bigger than the cost of a house, it's also far more forgettable.

Sierra Mist Does Awkward So Well

Sierra Mist is kicking ass this year. The combover ad. That was just perfectly creepy. And anything involving karate is an automatic winner. Sierra Mist gets thumbs up from us this year.

Sprint Saves from Connectile Dysfunction

It's hard to position broadband ads. You can be like Earthlink, which kind of laughs at the whole idea of marketing in general, and you can be like Comcast, which takes the easy way out with off-colour humour. Or you can make up a disease, kind of like Microsoft, and propose that your product will in fact cure it.

There's a fine art to this tactic. A good rule of thumb: the closer you can get your made-up disease to sound like a sexual disorder, the better. Maybe people will get confused and mistakenly believe you could solve both problems, not just (the invented) one. Cute, Sprint. Cute. See the ad here.

Bummed GM Robot Contemplates Suicide

We imagine robot ennui is a growing problem as our mechanical friends become more complex and prevalent in our every day lives. We're glad GM is raising awareness about this problem early on, as demonstrated in their we're-obsessed-with-quality ad.

The ad didn't bring much of interest to the table but we're always at least a little interested in things, however non-human, that contemplate suicide over something really really trivial. And most things are. So, it's probably safe to say we're pretty generally interested in most people/things that consider offing themselves. Interested enough to report them, anyway. The GM ad didn't otherwise deserve it.

AHA Ad an A-Plus, Even Without Product Mention

A feeble little heart gets attacked and repeatedly mauled by black-clad health threats. Courtesy of the American Heart Association. We liked it after all.

Doritos Sparks Love Affair Between Mustachioed Trucker, Chunky Cashier

Ooh. Doritos just made our skin crawl with their latest commercial featuring a cashier getting progressively hotter and hotter over her trucker-looking customer's choice of chips. The spot ends in an aisle cleanup. You do the math.

And unless there's a wide demographic of married cashiers and truckers, we think this is a total "Sideways" rip-off. There probably are a lot of married cashiers and truckers though. In all probability Doritos may very well be the glue that keeps their love together. Who are we to talk?

Garmin Goes Power Rangers on Our Asses

Garmin gives us a Godzilla throwback with Maposaurus, where a map gets monstrous and a guy uses his GPS to turn into a laser-shooting superhero. Aww. Cute.

Budweiser Has Shitload of Random Ads Out This Year

We're failing to understand the multiplicity of multi-themed Budweiser ads out this year but the campaign must be doing the job because we're writing about them like hell. We've already forgotten which ad we were about to write about. Oh well. Budweiser budweiser budweiser budweiser . There.

Give a Little Animated Love for Coke Side of Life

We dig Coke's Grand Theft Auto-themed Give a Little Love ad. It's a nice little segui into the digital stratosphere that kind of says, "We join more than just human and polar bear communities. We join violent gamers, Sims and Second Lifers too." Good shit.

GoDaddy Reminds Us Why Marketing is Awesome

GoDaddy is so serious about keeping their URL costs low that they'll fling boobies at you left, right and left again. We're glad to know somebody has their priorities straight. In the first GoDaddy commercial, the domain registrar has a good time poking fun at marketing. The spot begins seriously with a spokesperson type walking down an office hallway explaining GoDaddy services. He gets to the door marked "marketing," open it and, sure enough, there's Bob, Candice, Danika ad the whole production crew having fun spraying champagne all over Candice as she dances in a tiny top. The guy closes the door and says, "Everybody wants to work in marketing." Right on, brother. See the ad here.

Bud Light Citizenship Class Ad is Oh So Bad but Oh So Good

That Bud Light ad where the guy teaches non-English speakers how to ask for a Bud in different neighborhoods, then encourages them to shift gears back into incoherent immigrant status when asked for a Bud in turn, is so very politically incorrect. That is why more blue collar rednecks should conduct citizenship classes.

Chevy Unites Musical Genres with Model Multiplicity

We hate Mary J. Blige and we generally dislike Chevy. But the music mishmash and the juxtapositions with all the different Chevys in this ad are interesting. Joining genres with a bunch of famous people and would-bes is generally a cheap and easy way to get a positive nod for your efforts.

Snickers Commercial Wins Gross Award

Winning the Most Disgusting Super Bowl Commercial Award is the commercial from Snickers in hich two mechanics end up eating the same Snickers bar from opposite ends until the two meet and are shocked. They suddenly react by doing something very manly, ripping off their chest hair. Yes, it will talked about and maybe that's half the battle. It's still gross though.

FedEx Leaps from Past to Future

FedEx veers from the past to the future with an ad in which a set of astronauts experience a delivery problem from the moon. The FedEx space ship is accompanied by the same music Gob uses in Arrested Development to complement his subpar magic acts.

We're glad they've ditch the cave men since Geico seems to have dominated that niche. Will FedEx colonize the future? Not with cheesy magician music, they won't. See the ad here.

Doritos Consumer-Generated Spot Shines

We have to admit, we were skeptical about the whole Doritos consumer-generated media thing but the commercial that won the contest turned out quite nice. It's not the one we thought would win but the humor of the guy getting distracted by the hot girl and the girl, herself, tripping all, one assumes, because of the effect Doritos have on people, was brilliant.

What's with Sales Genie?

"I don't work hard. I work smart."

Are they serious? Can somebody please get rid of them? Please? Who gave Sales Genie $4.6 mill and said "Knock yourself out"? If you're going to use a douchey chipper-colleagues-in-business ad, we'd appreciate a punchline.

In any event it appears their Super Bowl effort is an extension of a story that begins on their website. There's also an option to rate the commercial except it doesn't work.

Our friends are sitting around passive aggressively insulting each other with beer-weakened comebacks along the lines of, "You need Sales Genie." "No, you need Sales Genie." "No, you need Sales Genie."

Bud Light Reinvigorates Rock Throwing Tendencies

Bud Light's rock paper scissors ad - awesome. We're so glad they didn't rehash any previous running Super Bowl themes like their buddies at Pizza Hut.

We have every intention of throwing rocks in future r/p/s sparring matches with friends. And possibly scissors.

Jessica Simpson Returns with Cheesy Bites

Continuity is a big deal in Super Bowl ad culture. That's why we're not too shocked to see Jessica Simpson's reprise of last year's Cheesy Bites effort. Less adolescent fantasy and more Chanel #5, we're still not sufficiently turned on to exchange these chicken wings for the breaded bites.

In other news, the rain must suck, why on earth would you have Billy fuckin' Joel open for the Super Bowl, and guess what! The Cheesy Bites pizza matches Jessica's little red dress. Did they plan that? See the ad here.

Super Bowl 2007 Pre-Game Observations.

- Salesdenie.com - really, really cheesy in the style of Ginsu knife commercials but it'll probably work.

- Pre-game show...it's like Up With People (literally) all over again!

- OK. That Combo's ad was weird. Good payoff though.

- HP is hyping its 4th quarter roll out of the next phase of its "The Computer is Personal" campaign here.

- That Nicholas Cage Ghost Rider ad...didn't he used to be an actor that loved to be in good, independent films?

- Damn, it's raining! That's gotta suck.

- Jessica Simpson looks a lot better in a nice red dress than a cheesy (oops) country get up from years past.

- How long did that first Bears touch down take? DAMN!

Gil the Crab Travels to Fourth Quarter

We will see our favorite crab, Gill, again in this year's Super Bowl. This time, the ad (two :15's actually) is tied to a "road trip" Gill made to deliver the commercial to Miami in time for the game. If you were one of the lucky (or unlucky ones depending upon how you like MySpace campaigns), you could have followed the whole thing on MySpace. Latching onto this year's trend of creating an ad to promote a Super Bowl ad, there's a :05 teaser on YouTube. The ads will appear in the 4th quarter of the game.

Nissan Ad Pays Homage to Super Bowl Logo

While those in the NFL might take issue with this Nissan Super Bowl good luck ad which uses a roman numeral style that looks very similar to this year's Super Bowl logo design, we really like the approach. We're not sure this ad actually appeared anywhere but we're told it was created by Curt Detweiler and his team at TBWA\CHIAT\DAY LA. Here's a second version of the ad.

Meebo Debuts Super Bowl Commercial...on YouTube

We've been using web-based instant messaging service Meebo for over a year now and love it. It allows you to aggregate all your IM clients into one, easy to use, interface. It's a company with a loyal and growing follwing so it is without surprise they are looking to hire more developers. What better way than a Super Bowl spot to get the word out to the most people. OK, that would be a horridly inefficient media buy but that's OK becasue Meebo isn't actually placing their as in the game but rather on YouTube.

In a Mash-Up of the 1987 VW Golf ad with the two dudes picking up the old chair off the side of the road and the 1998 Bill Gates and Steve Balmer spoof of the ad, Meebo makers Sandy and Elaine follow suit with a Smiley in the back seat and the announcement they are in need of developers. We like it. Then again, we love Meebo so we have to like this commercial.

Seriously, if you want to try out a new way to manage all your IM accounts without the necessity of having multiple programs open at the same time, you should check out Meebo.