Crack is Whack But 'Cracked' Is Back

Who better than whacked out Tom Cruise as a 44 year old virgin to grace the cover of humor magazine CRACKED as it makes its return after a two year hiatus? The "re-imagined" magazine has been juiced with editorial staff from the Daily Show, SNL and Chappelle and will offer up a heavy dose of humor and satire. The publisher and advertisers hope men 18-34 will flock to the mag like paparazzi flock to the disappearing Nicole Richie.

Converse Goes Jackass With Johny Knoxville

While commenting most Converse Chucks "can twist an ankle worse then that bitches head in the Exorcist," Bucky Turco thinks the recent hook up of jackass Johny Knoxville is a good move for the marketer. Timed with the release of Knoxville's next movie, Jackass 2 in September, the shoes will adorned with skull and crutch crossbones.

Ass Wiping An Untapped Market

While some may laugh this off and the whinings of an anally obsessed freak, Thomas Sherman, acknowledging how Norelco recently addressed topic of male body hair grooming head on in a recent ad campaign, thinks this is endemic of many consumer needs that aren't served by marketers because, well, they're too icky to think about. Just as Howard Stern has ranted for years, Sherman thinks it should be normal for a person to want to have a cleaner rear end and that a line of products, namely baby wipe-style tissues, should be available to serve that need. Sounds reasonable enough. While that type of product is already available in Europe, it hasn't hit the squeamish shores of America. So, if there's an enterprising marketer out there, you have at least one potential customer so far.

One Sort of Facial Promotes Another

You see. It's not just us. Even our readers' minds are as sick as ours. From a reader, this Clinique ad - currently appearing in People - comes to us today in an attachment called "Money Shot" along with wonderment regarding just what sort of facial is being eluded to. Really. How exactly does a glob of fluid on a woman's face promote moisturizing cream?

Google Coupons, Penguins March, Mac Attacks

- In an effort to prove that online ads actually do lead to brick-and-mortar purchases, Google today will start allowing merchants to distribute printable coupons via its mapping service, Google Maps.

- Here's yet another March of the Penguins riff. This time it's for Guinness and it's really not that good.

- With up to 20 new spots, Apple is extending its current campaign with Mac dud Justin Long.

- OK, OK. We'll point to this stupid office sex study that claims the public relations industry, despite what some might think, doesn't cheat very much.

- Dumb.

Mouse Takes Cheese Over Girl

Here's a ray of hope for anyone who thinks the only thing the male species of any race thinks about is women. This little mouse in this Jarlsberg ad is quite resourceful when it comes to getting his piece of cheese. Oh wait. Food over girl? That's not much redemption for men now is it?

Canada Will Take Care of Your Infantile, Lazy Husband

Adrants reader Roy Coffman sent us this "commercial" for a service many married women would love to have at their disposal when their lazy husbands (after all, all husbands are lazy in today's current emasculated culture, right?) just become too much to deal with. Just as you might drop the kids off at day care, this new service promises women a headache-free day.

Adidas Drives Store Traffic With Rubber Ducks

Thomas Christensen tells us that during Copenhagen Fashion Week, Adidas placed blue rubber ducks in a fountain with a message on the bottom that read, "I've swum too far - help me get back home! Reward for my return at adidas Original store". Upon visiting the store, Christensen ended up with a t-shirt.

Hard Rock Says Cheating Is A Good Thing

Flickr user Uncle Trick tells us Hard Rock was fined by the Gaming Commission for this ad because they took issue with the ad's apparent urging to cheat in casinos. However, urging a guy to maybe cheat on his wife with the poolside hottie is perfectly OK.

Itching Boogers Grace Billboard

Sometimes you have to wonder what goes through the mind of a copywriter when they come up with this stuff.