'Kinda Sutra' Exploits Reproductive Trial-and-Error

This isn't actually an ad, but oh, it's cute, and good testament to how our parents and friends can fuck us up before (and maybe after?) age five.

With help from Stardust Studios, director Jessica Yu of Nonfiction Unlimited produced "The Kinda Sutra" as an entry to Sundance's Documentary Shorts section. In it, a handful of brave adults admit how they were told babies were made.

"My mom taught me that when dad fell asleep, his seeds would float in the air and if one of them landed on mom, she would have a baby."

Classic.

Another believed babies came from "little pollywogs" in the pond, and entirely too many thought they come out of somebody's ass. (Actually, my mom told me she mistook me for constipation. It's a fairly common yarn.)

Some were bright enough to discern baby-making involved their penises, though that extra tidbit didn't do much good -- one dude, otherwise on the right track, tried inseminating a tree, which put him off sex up to a healthy old(er) age.

At the end, a handful of lispy kids narrate the actual facts of life, Kubrick-style, with apathetic faces. Insert collective Oooohhhh.