Claussen Pickles Quench Oral Desires

If you prefer things stiffly erect and throbbing with fullness rather than things that are flaccidly limp and not up for anything fun then, according to this ad, Claussen is your brand of pickle. Why mess with a tired, spent pickle when you can have one that's ready to forcefully explode in your mouth with an orgasm of juicy flavor quenching your desire for spunky girth?