Don't Just Bury Sparky; Support Your Local Funeral Parlor

We've seen a lot of odd funeral ads in our time (1, 2). But this trade ad, which first disgusted Adpulp (granted, for completely different reasons), is a new kind of freaky.

"Just imagine extending your cycle of service by adding pet loss memorial care," invites Matthews Cremation for its Faithful Forever effort.

Granted, death, like anything else (marriage, for example), is an industry whose players need to stay relevant with innovations or new streams of revenue, and we largely have ourselves to thank. Okay, our emotional attachment to Sparky is fair game. But it's still kind of weird to imagine the possibilities:

"One in three pregnancies results in a miscarriage. Cup the child in God's Hands (TM); cup the profits in yours."

"Celebrity deaths can hit homes hard. The Icon Altar brings solace for the passing of role models the world over."

"Invisible friends are people too. Remind aging patrons to see them off in style."