Ad Industry Productivity to Plummet 37% During Advertising Week

Did you read that headline? Will you tweet it? Will you share it on Facebook? Maybe LinkedIn? Oh and how about on Ello? Oh yea. Ello. Everyone's on Ello this week, right? Oh wait, you're not? Loser. OK, just kidding. You're actually one of the smart ones to avoid this FOMO Folly that's reached epic insanity.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Its Advertising Week. And all the bigwigs, blowhards, pontificators, bloviators and, oh yea, smart people who know all kinds of awesome shit about advertising have gathered in New York to share their expertise so the rest of us can Tweet it, Facebook it, post it to LinkedIn and, yea, Ello.

So what about this precipitous drop in productivity during Advertising Week? Surely with everyone out of the office either getting some all important face time on a panel or sitting in the audience drinking in all this free knowledge, there ain't much work getting done in the office.

Oh wait, you mean you left all your work to the interns? Yea, that'll go over well. Besides, all the interns are doing this week are following you on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and, yea, Ello so they don't suffer from Advertising Week FOMO hence, they aren't covering your ass while you're out having fun and pretending to work.

Which, again, brings us back to the epic drop in work productivity in the ad industry this week. Thirty seven percent. That's a big drop. Imagine in Apple cut iPhone production by 37%? Yea, now you can relate to what we're talking about here. Kinda makes you want to head back to the office and get some work done, right?

No? No? You'd rather listen to Katie Couric and Sheryl Sandberg or maybe get an eyeful of Martin Sorrell holding court? Well that's entirely up to you. Much like Cannes Lions, these industry shindigs are much more about schmoozing and boozing than garnering inspiration. A callous viewpoint, you say? Check your hangover in the morning and get back to us.

Oh and as to how we arrived at the 37% drop in productivity figure? We totally made it up. But you have to admit, despite all you pro-multi-taskers out there, you simply can't work and play at the same time. Something's gotta give. And we know what's giving this week. See you around town.