'Moist And Tender' Slim Jims Help Emasculated Men Man Up

Before we get into this Venables Bell & Partners-created work for Sim Jim's new steakhouse strips, we have to ask, "Just what the hell are Slim Jims made of?" They don't taste like food and they certainly don't taste like steak. And reading the list of ingredients is enough to make one barf. But, like it or not, that topic is one for the food critics, not the ad critics. Onward.

The agency has unleashed two new spots for the brand that feature a team of Steak and Rescue EMTs whose mision is to save men from Male Spice Loss. In "Paddleboat," the Steak & Rescue crew save a Male Spice Loss victim from the shameful clutches of a couple's swan boat ride and in "Shakespeare in the Park," Steak & Rescue use Steakhouse Strips to save a group of guys suffering through a painful community theater production of Romeo & Juliet.

It's funny stuff. And appropriately manly. Which is a good thing. Because we can't for the life of us picture a hot, leggy blond dressed in a super tight, extra short miniskirt that tantalizingly accentuates the eye-popping bootyliciousness of her transfixingly alluring ass and a cleavage-bearing low cut top which struggles to contain the soccer ball-sized enormity of her uncontrollably wobbling breasts as she sashays down the street eating a Slim Jim.

No. We just can't.