It's Not Abuse If It's Consensual. Waivers, Too? Better Still

For client G4, Hal Riney took a little man-on-man BDSM fun and turned it into skin-crawly bruise-based animation.

Each guy was given a stencil of a character, whose likeness was bruised onto their skin in various creative ways: mousetraps, big rubber balls, ass paddles and the like. (If only mummy and daddy were that creative.)

The bruises were then stitched together in consecutive shots and enlivened by the brain-rending voice of YouTube's The Kid from Brooklyn.

o "Bunnies":

o "Lara Croft":

o "Violence":

"Making-of":

Because getting hurt for stupid reasons is one of those things human beings can't get enough of, San Francisco and New York inhabitants were invited to line up and have Bruiseman applied to their bodies.

"We started with a template placed over the volunteer's skin. Then we smacked them hard until a bruise formed in the shape of the template," boasted Publicis & Hal Riney copywriter Jesse Dillow.

Adding his $0.02 to the sadistic glee, CCO Roger Camp quipped, "It's not often you get to whack the hell out of your coworkers with a cat-of-nine tails."

...wait, you mean that's not a standard-issue breaktime activity? Why doesn't anyone ever tell us these things?