Don't Pay to Learn Words You'll Never Use; Just Read Billboards.

Continuing its quest to make every nut-loving man we ever met sound like an asshole, Snickers ramps up "Snacklish."

"Snacklish" exists solely to leak Snickers Speak into the vernacular. Impressionable minds will be exposed to various iterations of Snacklish on TV, billboards, print and digital.

"There are approximately 5,000 different languages spoken in the world today, each with its own unique set of words, phrases and expressions and 'SNICKERS Speak' can be added to that list - allowing Americans to have a whole new dialect for 'satisfaction' that they can drop into their daily conversations," the company soberly states.

And it's not just words it's shoving willy-nilly into a linguistic shredder; names will be too. TV spots will feature Master P and Patrick Ewing, respectively; we've been told the ads will be called "Get Some Bling with Master P-Nut" and "Get Dunked on by Patrick Chewing."

Other Really Clever Executions include digital billboards that say things like "3 o'clockishment" -- the time of day Snickers are most often eaten.

All that inanity aside, what bugs us most about this is that someone out there's getting paid to make this shit up.

UPDATE: But you've gotta love the effort they'll got to to get written about. Check out this bribalicious t-shirt I (Steve) just received in the mail. Of course, I can't actually act on the bribe...since Angela already wrote about the campaign.