Target Reinterprets the Story of Christmas

This ad for Target makes the commercialization of the holidays look downright cuddly.

It's like a glimpse into mirror world: parents' pupils dilate as kids spout retail propaganda in iambic pentameter. Scrooge is loved for exactly who he is. And nobody's pretending it ain't about the presents.

If only my childhood Christmas plays had been this relevant to the longings of our souls. Think about it: does Baby Jesus help you save on everything from Isaac Mizrahi ankle socks to vintage poster art deco? Is he as generous about parking spaces? And does he own exclusive rights to Christina Aguilera's greatest hits?

...No? That's what I thought.