'They Like Pets, Right? Why Not Get Them a Drug-Sniffing Dog?'

Patsy, a little potato-faced woman, doesn't know how to talk to her kids about drugs. But she knows that she should, so she finds ways to unearth drug use in ways they won't expect: ambushing them in the shower, patting them down mid-embrace, and stripping labels off the family's prescription pills. (Don't ask. I was clueless about the logic of that.)

In the end, well-meaning Patsy only alienates her kids and bamboozles her husband into accidentally taking female hormone pills. (No labels on the drug bottles, remember?) The moral of this story? "Don't be a Patsy."

This is a new campaign by Hill Holiday/NY for Partnership for a Drug-Free America, which hopes parents will start frequenting DrugFree.org to learn how best to talk pharma (both legal and not-so-much) with their spawn. See spots here. The zeal with which Patsy goes about keeping her kids drug-free might bring your own parents -- or worse, your own methods -- to the fore.

My mom tried exorcising me once. It was awkward.