Nobody Likes an Iron Fist; Rule Instead with Iron Thumbs
"But how...?" you ask.
By tethering underlings to consuming new workloads, straight from your spankin' new BlackBerry Pearl. Imagine how much more satisfying your pointless requests will be once they're liberated from the constraints of a timesheet and a computer!
Sprint is targeting such soul-sucking office tyrants with this ad. The perky but prick-tacular message printed on the mobile screen stirred the wrath of at least one Adrants reader:
Subject: It's go time!J, need you to spearhead deliverables for user-centric platform- create onboarding opportunities. Cheers. -M
What, not even a "Please" or a smiley?
"This mash up of Palin sentence flow and business lingo bullshit has to be stopped dead," snarled Mark, who sent us the ad. It was possibly the most impressive email-based snarl we've ever read.
Meanwhile, oblivious to how it's alienating the cogs that'll be on the receiving end of such messages from "-M" at all hours of the day and night, Sprint admonishes power-hungry micro managers to "Rule with iron thumbs."
Comments
Hey Mark, this is an example of "humor". It's funny. Do you understand funny? I don't think so.
Just think of the kind of people who wield Blackerries. They are, by and large, assholes with poor language skills and worse manners. They actually speak like this - I know; I've been in meetings with them. Will they understand the irony in this ad? Not at all, they'll probably start demanding "onboarding opportunities" from their own minions. That's why the trend of oblivious blackberry users walking into traffic and getting killed is so encouraging.