Richard Simmons the New 'Go to Guy' For Commercials

OMFG. Poor Richard Simmons. The dude has been reduced to nothing more than a one line joke for advertisers to toy with as they please. He was run over in a Bridgestone Super Bowl commercial and now he's accosting women in a grocery store screaming at them for even thinking about enjoying delicious goodies such as key lime pie, Boston cream pie and strawberry shortcake.

He screams "Ladies! Please, please, don't! You need to exercise! You need to know your worth!" I wanna scream, "Richard! Please! Please! Hasn't someone told you the seventies are over and no one wears short shorts like that anymore!?!" OK, hot girls wear short shorts but not a fifty (sixty?) year old man! Please, dude, have some dignity. I'm sure you need a paycheck but please spare us your horrific visual and aural onslaught.

We can thank Saatchi and Saatchi and Anonymous Content for this visual onslaught.