Downy Doesn't Just Soften Clothes; It Helps Pick Them Out, Too

Because I've always wanted to share my bra size, waist-to-hip ratio, and breadth-of-ass with a fabric softener company that cares just that much, I sat around taking the "Discover Your Shape" quiz on DownyDesignTags.com. This is part of a partnership between myShape and P&G's Downy.

At the end of the test, long-suffering women get a Downy Design Tag, a personal style guide that reveals what our best colors are and which clothes most flatter our bodies. (What is this, a joke?!) Advice is proffered by a celebrity stylist called Jorge, who also dispenses cockle-warming welcome letters and coupons to Ann Taylor LOFT.

In addition to prominently plugging Ann Taylor, the goal was to promote Downy TotalCare fabric enhancer, which wasn't noticeably mentioned anywhere. So much work put into a promising idea that ultimately disappoints. It's depressing.

method doesn't try nearly as hard to be yummy; it just is. Part of that probably lies in knowing not to stick its brand where it doesn't belong. Nobody needs help being dowdy, Downy.