Bed Head and Bullsh*t Do Not a Cewebrity Make

JC Penney's Crue Boarding is giving away rebates for the full purchasing price when you send them an e-receipt and a shot of you wearing their gear.

To infiltrate its target market -- "full time slackers" into "surfing beer music classy girls" -- Penney's invented Samthebrodude, a fake video blogger who does jack besides post vlogs about this promotion.

Sam's videos are short and the lighting terrible, harking back to a time (pre-dating Lonelygirl15) when those characteristics might have suggested authenticity. Beyond that, he's too much like a character invented out of intensive MySpace research.

Plus, he joined YouTube three weeks ago and has uploaded seven videos -- five of which are all about Crue Boarding's promotion.

See him clutch a guitar, just for show, and flash his rebate check. As if you care.