I Want Some Ass, Dammit!

Calm down. Calm down. Maybe it's been a while since you've had the pleasure but let's conduct ourselves like the adults here and discuss this rationally. Humans, perhaps as a sick joke by our creator, were seemingly programmed to be obsessed with ass. Though when you think of it, an ass obsession is really kind of gross. After all, an ass's purpose is nothing more than a built in cushion upon which we can sit and rest our weary bodies from time to time. Oh and the gross part? Well let's just say it's home to that area through which unneeded refuse passes. And that's just nasty.

Still obsessed with ass? Of course you are. It's an innate obsession and there's nothing you can do about it which is why advertisers, sick and twisted as they, at times, can be, love to pray on human's innate desires. So it's of no surprise so many ads are laced with sexual overtones and why assvertising was born.

It's latest incarnation comes from British cosmetics company Lush which dressed female employees in nothing but ass-bearing aprons and set them free to roam the streets of London based on a strategy hinging on the analogous relationship between the company's minimalist packaging the the employees minimalist "packaging for this promotion.