Because It's Obligatory for Moms to Be Like, 'No, Don't Get Me Anything'
I read somewhere that Mother's Day is more important to mothers than any other holiday. And while we may suspect that's true, moms are constantly trying to downplay it -- which is a dirty trick you should never fall for.
Seriously. I fell for the "It's just a day, don't bother" speech two years ago. The next time I saw my mother, she tossed my gift aside and snarled, "I didn't want your presents. I wanted your presence." It was clear she'd been practicing that line for days.
Anyway, director Clay Weiner's crass and lovable drag-mom has returned in this Mother's Day video. Watch as she does the classic mom fob-off ("I told ya, I don't want anything!"), and pulls a complete 180 come Sunday.
What was it Holden Caulfield said? "All mothers are slightly insane." Yeah. But 24 hours of validation isn't bad, considering the nine months of gestation you hormonally dislodged her before proceeding to wreak havoc on the next 18-25 years of her life.
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Aw, man, I fell for that speech this year and am terribly concerned about how things are going to go the next time she's in town. Should I surprise her with flowers just-because? Hah.