CD-Turned-Author Self-Promotes without Spending. Much.

CD and president Kelly Simmons of bubble, Philadelphia is sharpening her ad chops by promoting her own book, Standing Still. Released by Simon & Schuster, it's about a mom who exchanges her life for her kidnapped daughter's.

Publicity includes $200,000 of online, sweepstakes, broadcast, direct mail and guerilla efforts, allegedly all bartered.

The effort includes promotional postcards ("The ultimate beach read") stuffed in women's swimsuit orders, courtesy of Miracle Suit. A radio campaign will air on B101 FM, an indie station.

And when it rains, ziplocked flyers (via Tri-County Printers) promoting the book as "the perfect read for a stormy night" will appear on parked car windshields.

Check out Simmons' e-zine, bykellysimmons.com. You could win a Tiffany's bracelet that matches the one worn by the protagonist (product placement! Nice touch).

Neat. (Somehow not as neat as this.) But considering Simmons is scoring all this activity (plus reams and reams of paper and airtime) virtually cash-free, she can't lose, can she?

Oh yeah, we forgot: she also pulls the charity card. A percentage of all sales will help women overcome domestic abuse and panic disorder. (Money will do that.) "So maybe you should buy one copy to read, and one to use as a lovely paperweight on your desk," the author suggests.