Forget Dating Sites, the Mail Order Bride is Back in Vogue

The college-bound doll at left is going for a steal at $19,995 on Marry Our Daughter, where families can safely sell stone-footed girls for a price soothing enough to eradicate in-law strife.

Harking back to arranged marriage in the Biblical sense, the site's a publicity stunt orchestrated by women who actually were sold into marriage. They hope to shed light on the mail order bride industry at large, and on loopholes across the nation that enable minors to marry, says Newsweek.

Marry Our Daughter was built by John Ordover, a viral-marketing consultant in Brooklyn. After 60 million hits in its first week, Ordover has collected angry emails, bonafide (and touching - is that creepy?) proposals, and notes from parents who want to put their own good Christian kids on the market.

Parents from countries where bride sales are common are often given to joking about the trend. As kids, if we acted a little ornery, our own parents would eye us and say, "Watch out or we'll tell your husband."

That shit scared us senseless.