Graceland Opens to 'Tribute Elvises'!

The distinguished self-made caste of Elvis impersonators have finally been permitted into Mecca. Graceland managers will be appointing a "tribute Elvis" set to perform in a way that suits the king, which is open to interpretation - but no tacky, no kitschy and no "ridiculous spoofs" which will be hard, considering those characteristics comprise most mental pictures of a would-be rhinestone king of rock 'n roll.

"Ultimate Elvis," a contest for finding the first tribute performer for Graceland's 30th anniversary, consists of qualifying rounds worldwide, with 24 contestants making Memphis and 14 enduring elimination last Sunday.

The winner will be chosen this Friday, the 30 year commemoration of Presley's death. Said anointed one will nail $5,000 in cash, a shopping spree of equal value through Graceland, a $3,000 gift certificate for a better Elvis jumpsuit, a championship belt and other stuff.

We couldn't make this kind of shit up.