Senior Eye Ad Sparks Outrageously Juvenile Compulsion

We're minding our own business, reading an article on reverse mortgages for a fear-induced high, when we see this ad for Jeffrey D Horn, MD, vision specialist.

And now we feel this insane compulsion to don a white coat, walk down the street and bark "Cataracts slowing you down? GET YOUR ZOOM BACK!" at innocent spectacled passersby. If we didn't have titanic strength of will we most undoubtedly would, unbridled and uncut.

Sometimes your message just doesn't interpret the way it ought to. But maybe it's not the ad. Maybe we should just stop trolling senior citizen websites. Maybe we should stop mixing vodka in our orange juice at breakfastime. There could be a thousand contributing factors here.