New Reality Series Based On Speed of Sperm

The British reality TV industry is pushing the envelope even further with a newly proposed reality series where the man with the fastest sperm wins. Possibly to be produced by Brighter Pictures and called "Make Me A Mum," the series will narrow down a bunch of guys to two finalists. One will be chosen for his intelligence, sex appeal and fitness. The other will be selected on the basis of his genetic compatibility with the woman. The two will then be filmed having sex with the woman using technology allowing us to see deep inside the interior bodily mechanics of the love making process. The man whose sperm reaches the egg first wins the game.

Predictably, response to this has not been very positive. A spokesman for the anti-abortion campaign group, Life, said, "It's absolutely despicable. It's exploitation with no consideration for the child that may or may not be created. If the child learns that he or she was fathered, not out of love, but for the purposes of a TV program, that's extremely psychologically damaging."

Of course the producers are passing the show off as some sort of intriguing science experiment rather than the hump-fest it really is. Props to Charley Brough.