Steve Heyer Leaves Coke

Believed to be heir- apparent to the top Coca-Cola executive post, Steve Heyer was passed over for the position by E. Neville Isdell and has decided to leave the company. In a letter to the company about Heyer's decision, Isdell wrote, "Steve and I have been discussing the future for some time now. Yesterday, we had a good conversation, during which we both agreed on a number of things, including that we both love this Company and we want to do what's best for it. We also agreed that Steve -- not surprisingly -- has his own personal goals. He's got things he wants to accomplish ... and given all he has done for our Company over the past few years, we should all help Steve achieve his objectives. That?s why Steve and I agreed that he could best realize his aspirations outside of the Company, where he plans to take advantage of the limitless opportunities for a talented executive of his caliber."

What Isdell meant to write was "Nya, nya, I beat you sucker! I got that top spot you wanted so badly and now you have to eat shit and suffer the public relations ingratitude of 'realizing your aspirations outside the Company.'"

Heyer shot back in his own statement writing, Coke "is on a well-conceived strategic course and is hitting its stride both financially and operationally. With outstanding new senior leadership coming on board, this is the right time for me to pursue new opportunities."

Of course, what he really meant to write was, "That fuckin' Isdell stole my fuckin job! With that yes-man running Coke, the shit's gonna hit that fan and I hope it lands on his face!"