As Predicted, Firebrand Flames Out

firebrand_hottie.jpg

Less than five months after its launch, Firebrand, the all-ads-all-the-time cable channel and online site is, as we predicted from the start, closing operations. Investor’s from NBC Universal to Microsoft to GE have pulled the plug and will no longer fund Firebrand and its ill-conceived belief people actually want to seek out and watch advertising as a form of content on equal footing with network programming or movies.

Despite our repeated doubt Firebrand would ever amount to anything more than a giant money hole, those involved with Firebrand, including CMO Shari Leventhal, continued to defend it. Following one of our many stories on the stupidity of the Firebrand business model and our prediction the end was near, Leventhal wrote us, “Your ‘prediction’ is wholly unsupported by your argument. Our model proves, once and for all, that marketing can be entertaining AND effective. And that viewers will gladly watch commercials. They just don’t like to be interrupted…and won’t watch bad commercials.”

In one of our favorite trashings, we wrote, “when the historical behavior of modern day humans is to avoid most ads like the plague, we can’t see Firebrand as anything more than a passing fancy especially when its entire business model seems to rest on a dying method of advertising. It’s almost like someone in the conference room said, ‘Fuck it. No one’s watching our commercial so let’s just create a branded destination, wrap it in hipster clothing and make it cool.'”

And so the flame has been doused. As we knew it would. And for those with aspirations to jump in where Firebrand failed, repeat after us, “ADS ARE NOT CONTENT. ADS ARE NOT ENTERTAINMENT. ADS SELL SHIT. THAT’S ALL THEY DO.’

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

Many adult children remember watching a father work sixty-hour weeks for decades so the family could have what he never did, then watched him die in his sixties without ever prioritizing his own happiness, and now see that same pattern quietly repeating in their own lives, under a different name.

Many adult children remember watching a father work sixty-hour weeks for decades so the family could have what he never did, then watched him die in his sixties without ever prioritizing his own happiness, and now see that same pattern quietly repeating in their own lives, under a different name.

Global English Editing

Harvard researchers had 166 undergraduates rate their own pets on qualities like thoughtful, considerate and sympathetic, and the students who felt most chronically disconnected from other people scored their pets meaningfully higher on exactly those three traits, and no others.

Harvard researchers had 166 undergraduates rate their own pets on qualities like thoughtful, considerate and sympathetic, and the students who felt most chronically disconnected from other people scored their pets meaningfully higher on exactly those three traits, and no others.

Global English Editing

University of Arizona researchers wired 79 people with a recorder sampling conversations every 12.5 minutes for four days and found the happiest had twice as many substantive conversations and a third as much small talk as the unhappiest, suggesting the discomfort was never a social deficit.

University of Arizona researchers wired 79 people with a recorder sampling conversations every 12.5 minutes for four days and found the happiest had twice as many substantive conversations and a third as much small talk as the unhappiest, suggesting the discomfort was never a social deficit.

Global English Editing

A landmark study found that Catholic nuns who wrote sparse, simple autobiographies in their early twenties, when they entered the convent in the 1930s, were far more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease roughly six decades later, with about 80 percent of the low-complexity writers eventually developing the disease compared to only 10 percent of those whose youthful essays were dense with ideas

A landmark study found that Catholic nuns who wrote sparse, simple autobiographies in their early twenties, when they entered the convent in the 1930s, were far more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease roughly six decades later, with about 80 percent of the low-complexity writers eventually developing the disease compared to only 10 percent of those whose youthful essays were dense with ideas

Global English Editing

Jordan Peterson opens Rule 6 of “12 Rules for Life” by asking, “If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?” — arguing that the discipline to fix a small mess is the same discipline a marriage, a career, or a country eventually demands.

Jordan Peterson opens Rule 6 of “12 Rules for Life” by asking, “If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?” — arguing that the discipline to fix a small mess is the same discipline a marriage, a career, or a country eventually demands.

Global English Editing

9 habits that give away someone who grew up in a big family

9 habits that give away someone who grew up in a big family

Hack Spirit