“We’re opening more lanes than ever … to make Christmas shopping easier!”
Given what happened at its Long Island location, I think it’s sorta weird that WalMart’s still airing this ad. I saw it at least eight times this weekend — and each time, without fail, it brought to mind the Black Friday Death Trample.
In it, lights from open aisles flicker to the tune of Carol of the Bells, which always struck me as a semi-creepy song anyway. (Don’t make me explain why.) But now it also rings with the heavy panting of crazed, slightly overweight bargain hunters, indelible red splatters … and the cracking of bones.
The spot first aired during the 2007 holiday season. Co-workers claim a woman was trampled then too, but that’s cool because she was “a repeat stampede faker, from what I read,” one dutifully disclosed.
WalMart, what good are extra checkouts without an orderly entering and exiting process? Stampedes don’t organize themselves.
