Welch’s Defends the Honor of its Juice

welchs-alton-brown.jpg

“Purple is the new black,” proclaims a PR guy in an emailed preamble about his love of grape juice, which has been “much maligned as a sugary kids’ drink that can’t be natural (what could possibly be that purple, right?).”

In that manic light, Welch’s, whose purple is 100% au naturelle, enlisted “food scientist” Alton Brown of the Food Network’s Good Eats program.

Behold as he vindicates Welch’s time-tested, suspiciously picturesque juice production practices. (“At Welch’s, squeezing CON-cord grapes into natch’rel juice releases TONS of anti-awx-idants called … po-lee-fee-nols.”) He even takes time out of his day to teach us the Latin name for the Concord grape. (Veetis Labrewsca, baby.)

Boy does that ad work up a thirst. As well as a curious craving for Eucharist bread. “Uh-maaaay-zing little fruit.” Thanks for your endorsement, Alton Brown!

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

If you want to master the art of acceptance, say goodbye to these 8 unhealthy behaviors

If you want to master the art of acceptance, say goodbye to these 8 unhealthy behaviors

Global English Editing

7 topics you should never bring if you want to make a great impression, says psychology

7 topics you should never bring if you want to make a great impression, says psychology

Hack Spirit

Women who have low self-esteem often put up with these 8 disrespectful behaviors (without realizing it)

Women who have low self-esteem often put up with these 8 disrespectful behaviors (without realizing it)

Global English Editing

5 zodiac signs who are hardworking but struggle to hold down a regular job

5 zodiac signs who are hardworking but struggle to hold down a regular job

Parent From Heart

People who grow into themselves as they get older usually display these 7 behaviors

People who grow into themselves as they get older usually display these 7 behaviors

Small Business Bonfire

People who secretly feel embarrassed by their upbringing display these 7 subtle behaviors

People who secretly feel embarrassed by their upbringing display these 7 subtle behaviors

Global English Editing