Talking Polar Bears, Alethiometers, Nicole Kidman – What’s Not to Like?!

goldencompass_movie.png

Some people, like LotR aficionados, have waited most of their adult lives for their epic to hit the big screen. Others, notably Harry Potter and Narnia fans, haven’t really had to suffer the bittersweet agony of waiting for some director to do justice to their literary childhood fantasia.

Our time has finally come. And it’s either going to be really crappy, in which case it takes New Line Cinema down along with it, or it’s going to blow our fucking minds.

The epic we’re referring to is The Golden Compass, part one of a trilogy we’ve read at least six times. Watch the Comic Con preview for the fullest effect.

While we doubt Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman would ever let us down, we realize how stupid it is to pin all our broken dreams on an adaptation, so we are holding our emotions at arm’s length.

Total costs for this one film ran over $200 million, so if it tanks, New Line Cinema is probably through. But the graphics on the website are awesome, so we’re not super-worried.

The reason why we’re writing this up is because we’ve just burned over 20 minutes learning how to read an alethiometer (a kind of truth-telling compass) and taking a quiz to find out what our daemon was. (A daemon is the outward animal representation of your soul.)

20 minutes is a really long time to spend on a promo site, man. Please do go look RIGHT NOW.

The Golden Compass comes out this December. Watch it – or better yet, read the trilogy first, so we’ll finally have somebody to rhapsodize with. (Seriously – it’s impossible to have a rational discussion about dark matter, the Aurora Borealis, and talking polar bears out of their natural context.)

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

People who stay sharp into their 80s almost always share these 3 daily habits that most people abandon after retirement

People who stay sharp into their 80s almost always share these 3 daily habits that most people abandon after retirement

Global English Editing

The most painful relationship of your life will be with someone who displays these 9 traits, says psychology

The most painful relationship of your life will be with someone who displays these 9 traits, says psychology

Global English Editing

The art of walking away: 10 situations where the strongest thing you can do is leave without saying a word

The art of walking away: 10 situations where the strongest thing you can do is leave without saying a word

Global English Editing

People who prefer showering at night instead of morning usually have these distinct personality patterns

People who prefer showering at night instead of morning usually have these distinct personality patterns

Global English Editing

Most people don’t realize it, but the friends you keep after 50 are quietly deciding how long you’ll live

Most people don’t realize it, but the friends you keep after 50 are quietly deciding how long you’ll live

Global English Editing

9 conversation topics that instantly make people want to end the interaction, and most people with poor social skills bring them up constantly

9 conversation topics that instantly make people want to end the interaction, and most people with poor social skills bring them up constantly

Global English Editing