Tabacco Company Tells it Like it is

Licensed to Kill is the name of a new tobacco company founded in Virginia on March 19,2003. Whether it will ever really sell tobacco is another story. The company was founded simply to prove how easy it is to set up a corporation whose charter might not be all that welcome if the truth was actually told. Sure, it’s kind of a spoof. Here’s a clip from their corporate statement:

“Licensed to Kill, Inc. is a tobacco company. We knowingly kill people for profit. And we’re proud of it. In fact, it is the explicit aim of our corporation. Just check our articles of incorporation.

We’re not like other tobacco companies that try to obscure what their business is about. If you market cigarettes, you market death. It’s that simple. In a country which effectively allows corporations to be formed without regard to their purpose, corporations are allowed to kill people to make money. Addiction to cigarettes may be lethal, but profiting from spreading death is perfectly legal.

Truthfully, as a corporation, we couldn’t care less about the health hazards of smoking our products. Our bottom line is and always will be boosting profits for our stockholders. That is, after all, what corporations are about. You could say that we’re ‘addicted to profit.’ “

Clever.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

I’m 38 and I just realized my Boomer parents don’t call me for advice — they call me to hear their own thoughts repeated back in a younger voice because somewhere in the last 5 years they stopped trusting their own judgment and my job isn’t to have answers anymore, it’s to make their answers sound valid, and I don’t know when that shift happened but I know exactly what it cost them to need it

I’m 38 and I just realized my Boomer parents don’t call me for advice — they call me to hear their own thoughts repeated back in a younger voice because somewhere in the last 5 years they stopped trusting their own judgment and my job isn’t to have answers anymore, it’s to make their answers sound valid, and I don’t know when that shift happened but I know exactly what it cost them to need it

Global English Editing

9 signs you’ve quietly become the most self-aware person in your social circle — and why it sometimes feels lonelier, not better

9 signs you’ve quietly become the most self-aware person in your social circle — and why it sometimes feels lonelier, not better

Global English Editing

People who have no close friends but seem socially successful often share these 9 traits that explain why they’re surrounded by people but known by no one

People who have no close friends but seem socially successful often share these 9 traits that explain why they’re surrounded by people but known by no one

Global English Editing

The loneliest sound in a retired person’s house isn’t silence — it’s the refrigerator cycling on at 2pm because when the house is that quiet your brain starts cataloguing every mechanical sound just to confirm you’re still inside a life that’s running

The loneliest sound in a retired person’s house isn’t silence — it’s the refrigerator cycling on at 2pm because when the house is that quiet your brain starts cataloguing every mechanical sound just to confirm you’re still inside a life that’s running

Global English Editing

I’m 66 and the biggest lesson I learned too late wasn’t about saving more money or traveling sooner – it was understanding that every time I said ‘I’m fine’ when I wasn’t, I was teaching people that my feelings didn’t require their attention

I’m 66 and the biggest lesson I learned too late wasn’t about saving more money or traveling sooner – it was understanding that every time I said ‘I’m fine’ when I wasn’t, I was teaching people that my feelings didn’t require their attention

Global English Editing

The toughest generation in history isn’t millennials navigating burnout or gen X surviving neglect — it’s the boomers who were handed a definition of resilience that meant you could break every bone in your body and still weren’t allowed to say it hurt

The toughest generation in history isn’t millennials navigating burnout or gen X surviving neglect — it’s the boomers who were handed a definition of resilience that meant you could break every bone in your body and still weren’t allowed to say it hurt

Global English Editing