Media culture group Stay Free has created a spoof drug site calling attention to the idiocy most drug companies place or are required to place on their sites and in their ads. The site is for a fictitious drug called Panexa by MERD which is “a prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotion.” That covers just about everyone.
And in a nod to either people’s idiocy, drug company’s idiocy or everyone’s propensity to sue the asses off one another, the site lists several situations in which Panexa should not be used:
- PANEXA should not be used as a physical aid to set a broken bone, as in the case of a splint;
- PANEXA should not be used as a substitute for real human relationships; the tablets (and gel-coated caplets) are incapable of displaying any real emotion, and would prove to be dissatisfying friends or mates;
- PANEXA should not be used to soak up spills or remove stains. This is disrespectful to PANEXA;
- PANEXA should not be resold with the intent of generating a personal profit;
- PANEXA should not be used a form of motive transport, as it lacks the government regulated (US DOT 1445/88-4557) safety lights and reflectors;Women with uteruses should consider avoiding PANEXAor moving to a state or province where the concentration of PANEXA is lesser;
- Do not taunt PANEXA.
