Spicy Buffalo Craving Takes Over Adrants Staff

carls_hardees2.jpg

Promotions like the Carl’s. Jr./Hardee’s Spicy Buffalo conjure up major differences between Adrants editors. To start with, Hardee’s for Steve is Carl’s, Jr. for Angela, who is going, “WTF is Hardee’s? Talk about a double-entendre!”

It also brings up the gender issue. While Steve can be sold by the buffalo wings by both the blonde (who knows our names!) and the sandwich, Angela can’t help thinking, “I’m tired of sexy girls undressing to sell me shit. What happened to the Chippendale market? Doesn’t Kasey Kahne want to sell me something? Jude Law? This guy?”

Come on, Carl’s Jr. (or Hardee’s, as applicable). The ovarian gender isn’t all just eating salad over here. We have needs too. Show us some buffalo.

Hi. It’s Steve. Angela, Chippendales? They wear Speedos! G Strings! Eew! Make me puke! I’ll take a sexy girl undressing to sell me shit any day of the week thank you very much! And what’s with the sexy image in your article here? Huh? Huh? Who’s perpetuating the sex sells theme now? 🙂

Steve – Speedos and male G-strings are the warrior loincloths of today. What could be hotter than a warrior in meat-slaying battle gear? Yeah, can’t think of anything, can you? I rest my case.

And PS. Unconditional purchasing allegiance to the prototype Barbie blonde? So passe. I’d venture to call it Neanderthalic, but even the Geico caveman‘s too cool for that. >=) *Flips hair*

Oh but Angela. We men pride ourselves on our Neanderthalic simplicity. Why bother with all that overly complex emotional stuff that bogs you ladies down when a simple “Dude, we cool” and a busty blond in a bikini will do it for us every time? Simplicity, baby!

I can’t beat the simplicity argument. *long pause* Man, losing to you sucks. I think I’m going to head back to my room, cry and listen to Jagged Edge’s cover of “All Out Of Love” on repeat.

It’s all good. What would Adrants be with out fair and balanced coverage? Oh wait. Fair and balanced? We don’t do that? That wouldn’t be any fun. And we like fun so we’re just going to keep writing about politically incorrect, thong-clad hotties who hate gun control, love suicide, hate PETA (but love to appear nude in their ads), like sex with midgets, think ads that make men look stupid are cool, like to make fun of fast food workers and think kids who get fat at McDonald’s is because of their own stupidity and not that or marketers.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Global English Editing

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

Global English Editing

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Global English Editing

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

Hack Spirit

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

Hack Spirit

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

Global English Editing