Since Jurassic Park we are wary of anything involving labs, dinosaurs and the promise of sex. But for some odd reason Schick sees this as the perfect formula for their latest slew of homepage-worthy marketing schemes.
We’re experiencing unpleasant early 90’s nostalgia with this Dino Hunters thing they’re doing. The promo page assures the uncertain that “Comedy, sex and nasty ol’ lizards abound in this free game about hunting dinosaurs” – and we don’t know how or why that sells razors (the thought of running one blade, much less four, over gigantor scaly skin makes our stomachs clench) but perhaps it does.
The sex component is a burden mainly carried by the token ditzy blonde Candy. In a perfect world hot cartoon characters would be smart and not vapid because the point of being able to create is to correct the shortcomings of reality, yeah? No.
If you’re not sufficiently freaked out by Jurassic Park with razor blades hit the Shave Lab, where the somber Dr. Blade and Dr. Smooth will most certainly poke the remnants of your brain cells into frothy oblivion – like pretty pink bubbles.
Finally, because if you’re going to suck hard you might as well do it in threes, there’s Power of 4, which will guide you through gleefully into “a state in which an individual experiences increased levels of attention, believability and getting-away-with-things-ness.”
Oh hell yes. We’re totally getting four blades on a plastic rod now.
