Reason #34958409 Why You Should Burn Home Videos Pre-Dating ’95

  • 1 min read
aquanet-keep-it-stiff.jpg

Director Nir Bashan of Reactor Films/LA just sent us its latest work for AquaNet, one of those unfortunate brands whose persona is condemned to retro.

Leveraging that, Reactor — in tandem with Buck Productions — busts out with what looks like early-’90s footage of two kids with Highly Unfortunate Hair, lip-syncing to Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby.

It tickles.*

Where are these guys now? It doesn’t seem right to laugh at a contemporary’s childhood trauma without the victims sitting here, in the flesh, fighting to maintain composure.

Tagline reads “AquaNet: Keeping it stiff since 1991.” We’re treated to one last finger-pose before the video cuts. Fucking rad.


—

*We’re allowed to say this because we actually have one of these videos. There used to be a company called Be a Star! that would slut up your kids and force them to gyrate to pop songs in front of a camera. Our mom plays our three-year-old rendition of Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun every year on our birthday — complete with lace gloves and awesome green-screen effects.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES
Strange

Dad Uses Hot Daughter to Sell Car on eBay
Industry Events

Internet Week Summarized Infographic-Style
Industry Events

Charlotte Gets Social With SocialFresh
Opinion

Why Advertising Will Never Portray Reality
Cause

iPad Drinkspirated, Games Socialized, Honda Gets Naughty
Celebrity

Streakers Pimp Briefs, Politician Gets Clean, Naomi Campbell Sexes Up

Load more

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

Harvard researchers had 166 undergraduates rate their own pets on qualities like thoughtful, considerate and sympathetic, and the students who felt most chronically disconnected from other people scored their pets meaningfully higher on exactly those three traits, and no others.

Harvard researchers had 166 undergraduates rate their own pets on qualities like thoughtful, considerate and sympathetic, and the students who felt most chronically disconnected from other people scored their pets meaningfully higher on exactly those three traits, and no others.

Global English Editing
University of Arizona researchers wired 79 people with a recorder sampling conversations every 12.5 minutes for four days and found the happiest had twice as many substantive conversations and a third as much small talk as the unhappiest, suggesting the discomfort was never a social deficit.

University of Arizona researchers wired 79 people with a recorder sampling conversations every 12.5 minutes for four days and found the happiest had twice as many substantive conversations and a third as much small talk as the unhappiest, suggesting the discomfort was never a social deficit.

Global English Editing
A landmark study found that Catholic nuns who wrote sparse, simple autobiographies in their early twenties, when they entered the convent in the 1930s, were far more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease roughly six decades later, with about 80 percent of the low-complexity writers eventually developing the disease compared to only 10 percent of those whose youthful essays were dense with ideas

A landmark study found that Catholic nuns who wrote sparse, simple autobiographies in their early twenties, when they entered the convent in the 1930s, were far more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease roughly six decades later, with about 80 percent of the low-complexity writers eventually developing the disease compared to only 10 percent of those whose youthful essays were dense with ideas

Global English Editing
Jordan Peterson opens Rule 6 of “12 Rules for Life” by asking, “If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?” — arguing that the discipline to fix a small mess is the same discipline a marriage, a career, or a country eventually demands.

Jordan Peterson opens Rule 6 of “12 Rules for Life” by asking, “If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?” — arguing that the discipline to fix a small mess is the same discipline a marriage, a career, or a country eventually demands.

Global English Editing
9 habits that give away someone who grew up in a big family

9 habits that give away someone who grew up in a big family

Hack Spirit
Psychologists did not coin emotional intelligence until 1990, and Goleman’s book did not popularize it until 1995, so people raised between 1945 and 1975 grew up with no shared vocabulary for feelings, many still improvising one from watching, guessing, and going quiet when intimacy calls for words.

Psychologists did not coin emotional intelligence until 1990, and Goleman’s book did not popularize it until 1995, so people raised between 1945 and 1975 grew up with no shared vocabulary for feelings, many still improvising one from watching, guessing, and going quiet when intimacy calls for words.

Global English Editing
Load more