OMG! You Have Dork Cling.

dork-dodge.jpg

It’s Dork Dodge! In this RPG game by JC Penney, you’re a college girl trying to leave the dorm, where a hot but insecure love interest is waiting. Your job: to emotionally castrate the losers in your way. (Attacking them with items from Penney’s Dorm Life line is usually a safe bet.) “Losers” labeled by Penney’s include — but are not limited to — an incest-friendly hick, a Swedish exchange student, a bodybuilder and a goth.

Don’t be too gentle or they’ll follow you (dork cling!), thereby destroying your chances of a tasty hook-up forever. In that case, your best option is to ask a friend for help. (Oddly, the friends are as douchey as the men.) And don’t dally too long or Mister Bouquet-of-Flowers out there will ditch yo’ ass. (He’s on a very tight schedule.)

But aww, it’s the tech era, and some of these squares are cute. My favourite pick-up line: “Did you know ‘NERD’ stands for Never-Ending Rendezvous … with Destiny? Look it up.”

Put together by EVB San Francisco. If for some odd reason you’re now into the Penney’s Dorm Life line, see Facebook page. I just love me a furry pink picture frame.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

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