Now You Too Can Be Emo

Steve Hall

May. 01, 2007
1 min read

Apparently there’s art to emo. Positing that faking sexual androgyny and and crying into your pillow is a legit lifestyle (who said it wasn’t?), self-proclaimed “o.g. emophiliacs” Leslie Simon and Trevor Kelley push their new novel Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide to Emo Culture.

Learn how to interact with the world through unwashed hair and red-rimmed eyes. Jasus. How much Linkin park can one really take in a day?

The book’s getting a push on MySpace. Users thus far have given it a rating of 53.3 percent. And lest you be confused, that’s not sub-par, that’s failure. Sing about that, baby.

Steve Hall

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I’m 65 and I’ve watched three marriages in my friend group fall apart in retirement — and the pattern isn’t infidelity or money, it’s that these men spent forty years being providers and never learned how to actually be present with another human being

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I’m 44 and I just realized that the reason I call my mother every Sunday isn’t love — it’s that when I was nine she once said “you’re the only one who checks on me” and I’ve been carrying that assignment for thirty-five years without ever asking to be relieved

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Psychology says people with very strong personalities aren’t less empathetic than others — they simply extend empathy to people’s actual circumstances rather than to their preferred narratives about those circumstances

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Psychology says people who repeatedly attract emotionally unavailable partners aren’t unlucky. They’re fluent in a specific emotional dialect learned in childhood where love always required decoding, and available people feel foreign because clarity was never part of the original language

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Psychology says the loneliest form of love isn’t being unloved – it’s being adored for a version of yourself you’ve been performing so long that the real you has started to feel like the imposter

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Children who were raised by a parent with a very strong personality often display these 8 behavioral patterns as adults — and psychology says it’s not what most people assume

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Now You Too Can Be Emo

Steve Hall

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TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

I’m 65 and I’ve watched three marriages in my friend group fall apart in retirement — and the pattern isn’t infidelity or money, it’s that these men spent forty years being providers and never learned how to actually be present with another human being

Global English Editing

I’m 44 and I just realized that the reason I call my mother every Sunday isn’t love — it’s that when I was nine she once said “you’re the only one who checks on me” and I’ve been carrying that assignment for thirty-five years without ever asking to be relieved

Global English Editing

Psychology says people with very strong personalities aren’t less empathetic than others — they simply extend empathy to people’s actual circumstances rather than to their preferred narratives about those circumstances

Global English Editing

Psychology says people who repeatedly attract emotionally unavailable partners aren’t unlucky. They’re fluent in a specific emotional dialect learned in childhood where love always required decoding, and available people feel foreign because clarity was never part of the original language

Global English Editing

Psychology says the loneliest form of love isn’t being unloved – it’s being adored for a version of yourself you’ve been performing so long that the real you has started to feel like the imposter

Global English Editing

Children who were raised by a parent with a very strong personality often display these 8 behavioral patterns as adults — and psychology says it’s not what most people assume

Global English Editing